


Stars Can't Shine (Without Darkness)

by rinnwrites



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Depression, Dissociation, Gratuitous Cheese, M/M, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Passionate Discussion of Space, Past Character Death, School Teacher Tony, Star Stuff, War Veteran Bucky Barnes, missing child scare, single parent bucky barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-07-20 22:20:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 28,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16146737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rinnwrites/pseuds/rinnwrites
Summary: Bucky Barnes is recovering from his war injury quite nicely, thanks, when his best friends Steve and Peggy pass in a tragic accident, leaving behind their only daughter, Jamie. Bucky is thrown into the new challenge of trying to raise his goddaughter as she mourns her parents and he, his friends. It's a rough road to recovery for them both, until Jamie's science teacher, Mr. Stark, steps in, with a little more to teach them than just facts about the stars.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya, this is gonna be a little bit of a journey, so get ready! This fic is totally finished, a first for me, and I'll try to post a couple chapters a week as I go through and make little tweaks to the small details. 
> 
> Thanks so much to [kingconniption](https://kingconniption.tumblr.com), and [piperfog](https://piperfog.tumblr.com) over on Tumblr, for their motivation, (artistic and otherwise) as well as [SyoshoHiataki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SyoshoHiataki) for bouncing ideas with me when I was stuck, and the whole winteriron discord who are the best cheerleaders on this or any planet!!
> 
> Also, a million kudos to my killer beta [Delphyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Delphyn), without whom this fic would probably be damn near unintelligible and likely doomed to haunt my google drive forever. You're an absolute gem, thank you!! <3

Steve and Bucky had been best friends since long before either of them could remember. 

There wasn’t anything unfamiliar between them; they grew up in matching brownstones, able to see one another across the street from their bedroom windows. They went to the same school, played together at recess, and spent summers attached at the hip, playing at the park and trying to sneak into the movie theater. Steve was there when Bucky came out to his parents at fourteen, and gave him somewhere to sleep when they kicked him out of the house. Bucky had been there to back Steve up in every single fight - those before  _ and _ after the miraculous growth spurt that hit the summer before senior year. They even went doubles to prom, and if there were looks and whispers when Bucky brought a guy from across town, the pair of friends was fearsome enough to stave off any taunts.

They were inseparable until graduation, and even then, they only parted ways with each other’s insistence and support. Bucky relentlessly pushed Steve towards college, he’d always been the brighter of the two, with a mind for math and a love for knowledge. It only made sense that he pursued an aeronautics degree and his dream of being a pilot. Bucky had felt a different calling, having been the brawn to Steve’s brains all his life, he held a sense of duty, of responsibility to protect the ones he loved, so Steve had seen him off to boot camp, proud to see his brother step up to serve in the army. 

While time and distance parted them, their bond remained. Each time Bucky left, Steve welcomed him back. From training he returned to Steve’s dorm, met his friends, and saw how well suited Steve was for university life. They both indulged in the extracurriculars for a short time before Bucky shipped out and had to leave again. 

After Bucky's first tour in Afghanistan, he spent his leave occupying the guest room in the apartment Steve shared with Peggy Carter. 

Bucky liked her immediately, and the sentiment went well beyond gratitude that she would allow him to move into their home. She was a spitfire, she gave Steve a run for his money with her ferocity, stubbornness, and desire for justice. She also made Steve happier than Bucky had ever seen him, and they’d had some pretty good times in the years they’d been friends. Peggy became a constant presence when he was on leave, as well as in Steve’s letters, emails, and phone calls. It felt a lot like having a sister again, after losing contact with his own when his blood family cut him out years before. 

Shortly before leaving for his third tour, Bucky stood beside them at their wedding, proud to see two people he cared so much about making a life together, and overwhelmed with a desire for the same thing, eventually. They left on their honeymoon, and he left for the front lines, and in the time he was gone, they wrote him to tell him Peggy was pregnant, and nine months later, Bucky traded every favor he had to video call from overseas and meet their baby girl the day she was born. 

They named their daughter Jamie, after Bucky, claiming that he wasn’t using James anyway, and he teared up, even as he laughed at the joke. They asked him to be her godfather, and Bucky had never agreed to anything faster in his entire life. He fell in love with the kid in a heartbeat, and spent the rest of his tour looking forward to meeting her. 

Bucky watched her grow up through pictures and videos, dedicating all of his time to that little girl whenever he had leave. He brought Jamie presents every time he was home and taught her silly pranks to play on her parents, under the condition that she waited to execute them until he was safely back overseas. Steve told him that Jamie asked for him, made jokes about Bucky being the “fun uncle,” and teased that he hoped to repay the favor when Bucky had a kid of his own.

Years passed, and Bucky extended his service, feeling like his part in this war was unfinished, and he got promoted through the ranks, thriving as a Sergeant, responsible for the troops below him in the hierarchy. He wrote and called when he could, sent videos to Jamie, and kept a drawing she’d made in his jacket pocket, next to his heart. 

And then a mission didn’t go as planned. 

Steve was there, beside Bucky’s hospital bed, when he woke up stateside and down one arm. 

With no real memory of the accident or the amputation, it was Steve who talked him through the realization, who held his remaining hand while Bucky cried, mourning something he’d always taken for granted. 

Peggy and Steve kept him from hiding away from the world after his discharge from the hospital and retirement from the military. They made him come out for picnics in the park, to see the newest superhero movie, and spend time with his goddaughter. And Jamie might have been his real saving grace in those early days. The first time he’d smiled after the incident was when she blatantly asked if he could still give her a piggyback ride with only one arm. It was so innocent that he’d laughed and teared up a little. (It turned out that he could, if she just held on tight.)

As time went by, Steve and Peggy championed him through months of grueling physical therapy, and called in every favor and contact they had between the two of them to get him into a top of the line prosthetics trial, giving him a state of the art metal arm that he could control much like a real arm, despite still feeling nothing but phantom pains of his lost limb. But he practiced with it and did more physical therapy, until he started feeling a little bit like himself again. 

With his friends’ hospitality, Bucky was able to take baby-steps in reclaiming his independence. They convinced him to get involved at the Veterans Affairs Center, to join a support group, and they supported his writing when he started collecting stories from the other veterans that he met. They helped him move into his own apartment and gain a little agency as he found comfort and contentment in a new calling. Peggy, who worked in publishing herself, was the driving force behind the completion and sale of his first book.

All in all, the Rogers family was  _ Bucky’s  _ family...and that was why he felt as though a gaping hole was opening up in his chest as his phone fell from his hand. He distantly heard the glass front shattering upon impact with the ground, but it hardly registered because the voice on the other end had just told him that Steve and Peggy Rogers were gone. 

Their trip had been impulsive. It was only a week and a half ago that Steve had gotten it into his mind to take Peggy home to England for their anniversary. It wasn’t supposed to be a long trip, only a couple of days...Steve’s job as a commercial pilot made it free, and Jamie had been invited to a sleepover with a girl at school for the long weekend, so she wouldn’t even need to come stay with Bucky while they were gone.

Everything had lined up perfectly for them, and Bucky had been happy to see them take time for themselves. They didn’t do that often. 

But perfect, it seemed, was too good to be true, because after an unforeseen mechanical failure, the plane had gone down somewhere in the Atlantic, robbing Bucky of his two best friends, and orphaning his goddaughter. 

The secondary realization tore him further asunder. He was all Jamie had now. Bucky had promised Steve that he would protect her, take care of her if Steve ever couldn’t, but there hadn’t been a moment that Bucky expected that she would really need him in that way. 

Now, her care would fall to him, he’d be her new guardian, and it would start with him tearing out her heart. Someone had to tell her that her mom and dad were gone, that they wouldn’t be coming back.

Bucky just needed to wrap his own mind around that first. 

And figure out how the hell he was going to do this all alone. 


	2. Heliocentric

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A **heliocentric** system is one in which the planets revolve around a fixed sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pssshhh, "a couple chapters a week" I crack myself up, as if I could refrain from posting like....daily. These first few chapters are short-ish, but they'll get longer eventually.

“She’s going to be alright. It’s awful, and she shouldn’t have to, but she’ll get through this. Kids are resilient. And Buck...she has you.”

Sam’s voice was sure, steady, like always, but Bucky didn’t get the same resounding comfort from it that he had before. Things had changed, this wasn’t just about his loss. Not anymore. 

“I’m not her dad.” He said weakly, his voice wobbling as he thought about Steve, and what an amazing father he’d been, it had come naturally, like he was born for it. How could Bucky live up to that?

“No, but she needs you anyway.” 

Bucky sighed and dropped his head against the back of his chair, slumping down in his seat where he sat facing Sam’s desk. He knew his friend was right, but it wasn’t exactly making this any easier. Bucky had come here for advice, despite knowing that Sam’s advice was never exactly explicit. His friend tended towards subtlety. He would usually give Bucky something simple, a mantra to ruminate on, something like  _ ‘she needs you anyway,’ _ and let Bucky figure things out on his own from there. 

He could already see that Sam was pushing him in the direction of getting through his own grief by helping Jamie deal with hers, but right now Bucky just wanted to be told what to do, how to make things better. 

He should know by now, that wasn’t how this relationship worked. 

When Bucky first lost his arm and started readjusting to civilian life, he’d found some help when he met Sam at the VA. The man was a counselor there, and led a support group for readjusting vets. He was one of the first to tell his story to Bucky, and to listen to Bucky’s in return, showing him how gratifying it could be to share those experiences, how healing it was to make connections with others who understood. 

Sam had been a big proponent of Bucky getting some independence back, feeling self-sufficient, and even whole again. Aside from being a patient counselor, and encouraging Bucky to expand his circle of trust, he’d put in a good word with his own landlord, helping Bucky secure his current apartment and conveniently making them neighbors. 

That had become quite a blessing in the past couple of months after Steve and Peggy’s tragedy. Losing them had shaken him to his core, setting him back in his own healing process and tossing the staggering responsibility of parenting his 10 year old goddaughter into the mix. Being able to reach out to Sam just down the stairs from his home was a saving grace - not to mention that as a counselor he had an idea of how to treat a child who’d lost their parents. Or at least he knew better than Bucky did. 

While Sam wasn’t a child therapist or anything of the sort, he’d been there every step of the way, through the funeral, moving Jamie out of her home and into Bucky’s, and determining when the time was right to send her back to school. He’d supported Bucky through those trials and tribulations in the same way he always had, with gentle nudges and vague advice.

Bucky would complain about it (he certainly had before), but after Sam’s simple  _ ‘you’re still whole, just in a different way’  _ had brought him back from the darkest place he’d ever been before, it was hard to argue with the method. 

And surprisingly, the “be strong for her” angle was really helping him keep it together, even if he had plenty of bad days. 

Bucky, though, was not the only one to have bad days. Even months after the fact, Jamie was still having more bad days than good. There would be moments when she’d have that little smile on her face that he remembered, she’d say something quippy to him or to Sam that sounded like it could have come straight from Peggy’s lips, and then it would pass and the dark clouds would come back.

The little girl with her father’s artistic gifts didn’t want anything to do with the paints that Bucky had set up for her. The brilliant young mind with her mother’s endless curiosity didn’t want to read anymore, didn’t bring home fun facts about what she’d learned at school, or tell Bucky stories about the make-believe adventures she had. 

They’d been reassured that it was normal. Losing not one but both parents was such a shock to a child’s system, depression was to be expected. It was too soon to expect her to snap out of it, and she’d probably never be the innocent little girl she once was. She’d grown up, had to accept some difficult truths about life when she was far too young. 

But all that wasn’t what bothered Bucky. Her understandable sadness wasn’t the problem that had him sitting here, doubting himself, wondering what he could do better, if he’d done something wrong, if this was avoidable. 

Today was the fifth time that Bucky had gotten a call from Jamie’s school, informing him that she’d been in a fight with another girl. It wasn’t anything too violent, hair pulling, scratching, but unacceptable, nonetheless, and Jamie was small for her age, like Steve had been, she wasn’t exactly a winner when things became physical, even if there wasn’t actual punching involved. 

Bucky was going in this afternoon to talk to the principal about what could be done, but he was shaken enough by his uncertainty to seek a little bit of council first, which brought him here, to the VA, where he looked at his friend across a beat up wooden desk, and tried to tamp down the desperation in his chest that threatened to burst out of him and fill this tiny office with it’s chilling ache.

“Look, kids get into fights. It’s not unnatural or really unexpected. She’s raw. Shit, she’s  _ Steve’s _ kid with an extra chip on her shoulder. I remember the stories you guys used to tell about the fights he got himself into.”

Sam’s words reassured him a little bit, but he still felt out of his depth. Jamie didn’t have a Bucky at school to back her up. She only had him at home, he couldn’t follow her to school to keep her safe, and as many times as he was told just to be there for her, he didn’t feel like he was helping. And getting that call again today was just one failure piled on top of another.

Bucky was supposed to protect her, and under his watch, she just kept getting hurt. 


	3. Orbit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An orbit is the path one object in space takes around another.

School was still in session when Bucky arrived, but buses were already lining up outside the front door in preparation for the imminent mass exodus of elementary children. He hurried through the lobby and into the main office, not wanting to be in the middle of things when those children were dismissed. He wasn’t great with crowds; the noise and close quarters were something he needed to prepare himself for - even when it was just kids. Bucky found it better to avoid those stressors all together. 

The school’s secretary gave him a polite smile as he entered and he waited as she finished a phone call, shifting awkwardly on his feet as he glanced around. The room was decorated in bright colors and clean geometric shapes, making Bucky feel as out of place as he looked, in his scuffed up boots, frayed jeans, and worn olive jacket. The last time he’d been in here it was to sign a stack of forms declaring himself Jamie’s legal guardian and emergency contact, so the whimsy of it all was lost on him. He itched to retreat and avoid the uncomfortable sense of not belonging all together, but managed to just fidget in place.

“Hi Mr. Barnes, Miss Hill is ready for you.” The secretary was looking up at him, tone carefully polite, as though she worried he might be unsteady. He couldn’t decide if it was insulting or not, but nodded anyway, moving past the front desk and into the principal’s office. 

The colors and patterns became much more subdued as he left the lobby behind, instead facing a large wooden desk, the top shiny and pristine, with assorted office supplies carefully arranged on it. It faced two overstuffed armchairs and was backed by a large window that looked out at the playground, now empty for the day. A name block on the front of the desk proclaimed it’s occupant “Maria Hill,” and the woman herself gave him a tight smile as he entered. 

“Mr. Barnes, thank you for coming by this afternoon, my apologies for the inconvenience.” Her arms were folded neatly in front of her on the desk, her posture straight and sure enough to make Bucky subconsciously sit up a little taller as he lowered himself into one of the armchairs. 

Bucky nodded, clearing his throat to dash away his nervousness, “It’s no inconvenience….whatever I need to do to make sure Jamie is….adjusting,” he answered carefully. 

This school was fancy. Much swankier than the public school that Bucky had attended with Steve when they were younger. It was for children that they called “gifted” and while Bucky would be the first to tell you that Jamie was a bright little kid, he’d always figured it was more the parents’ wallets that were  _ gifted. _

Of course, if Steve and Peggy could afford it, it made sense to get the best education possible for their daughter, and the money they’d left behind was more than enough to keep her in this place for the rest of 5th grade - probably middle school and high school too. (Bucky tried not to think too much about Jamie turning into a teenager - he was  _ definitely _ not ready for that.)

“In that case,” Ms. Hill started talking, her careful tone a reflection of Bucky’s own, “you’re aware that these...spats between Jamie and the other girls are becoming a problem.”

Bucky swallowed, “Yes ma’am, I’ve been talking to her about it at home she’s just...going through a lot right now.”

“We’re fully aware of her situation, Mr. Barnes,” the principal sounded somehow both sympathetic and matter-of-fact, “but the reality of the situation is that a student went home today with a busted lip and it seems that Jamie may be, in part, responsible for the incident.”

“Jamie hit someone?!” Bucky was flabbergasted, even in the previous fights, Jamie had been the one to get her hair pulled, the one to be taunted - he’d never imagined she could hurt a fly.

“No, not exactly, the girl fell on the playground, but she was involved in an altercation with Jamie at the time. The student’s parents are aware of the situation and don’t want to make a bigger deal than necessary, so long as this behavior is curbed, and soon - preferably before anyone else gets hurt.”

Bucky suddenly felt like he was the kid getting in trouble at school, intimidated by this woman through her polite facade, she seemed like a no-nonsense principal, which he’d feel great about...as soon as her stern expression was pointed at someone that  _ wasn’t him _ .

He nodded mutely for a moment before finding words, “Of course. I’ll have a long talk with her. Jamie’s a good kid, really, it’s just after Peggy and Steve…” his voice caught just a little and he shook his head, this was not the place to get emotional, “I’ll talk to her. It won’t happen again. She’s a good kid.”

Whether he was trying to convince himself or Hill was unclear, but her stern expression melted into a warm sympathy again. “I know she is, Mr. Barnes. It’ll get easier.”

Bucky sighed, only realizing when he looked down at his lap that his right hand was squeezing tightly onto his prosthetic, knuckles white from the grip. He forcibly loosened his hand and nodded, not sure how to respond to that, because he’d heard it all before and so far...things were still decidedly  _ not _ easier. 

“She’s been in with the guidance counselor this afternoon, you’re welcome to sign her out from there to take her home.”

Her face was kind, but that was clearly his cue to leave, so Bucky stood, thankful that the conversation was over as his mind had already moved on to churning over what he’d say to Jamie later. “Thank you, Ms. Hill.”

She nodded once, and Bucky saw himself out, only realizing as he stepped into the lobby again that he didn’t know where the guidance counselor’s office was. “Excuse me...the guidance counselor?”

The secretary gave a soft smile, “North hallway, first door on the left.” 

“Thanks.”

He left the office lobby and crossed the entryway, finding the half-open door easily and giving a light knock before stepping inside. 

Jamie sat at a short table, absently turning a lego block in her hands, eyes downcast. Across from her, a blonde man in jeans and a tshirt was precariously perched in a child-sized chair, knees nearly up to his chin as he looked intently at Jamie.

Both of their heads turned his way as he entered and Jamie looked back down, face red in shame. His heart broke for her, but before he could say anything the man was leaping to his feet, a grin on his face.

“Hey, I’m Clint, Jamie’s counselor. You’re her godfather, right?” He was bright and cheery like an excited puppy, sticking a hand out for Bucky to shake. Bucky gave him a once-over, deciding that he looked more like a frat boy than a guidance counselor, but if it set the kids at ease, who was he to judge?

“Hi, uh, yeah. Bucky.” He introduced himself, shaking the offered hand and looking back to Jamie where her gaze was still glued to the table in front of her. 

“Jamie and I were just hanging out for a bit, chatting about recess and building this awesome tower.” He jabbed a thumb over his shoulder in the general direction of the table, where a lopsided tower of mismatched legos sat. The room was scattered with toys and games, beanbag chairs and a couple of guitars - looking much more like a playroom than an office or classroom. 

Despite the setting, Jamie still looked miserable, an all too familiar sight these days, and Clint seemed keenly aware of that. “It hasn’t been the best of days, but we’re doing alright. About ready to head home, Jamie?” he asked, voice still cheerful and easy in a way that managed to be comforting but with a note of gravity for the situation. 

Jamie nodded and got up, going to gather her things from a cubby against the far wall. While she was occupied Clint gave him another of those sympathetic smiles. “It might take a some prodding, or just someone she trusts a little more than me, but I think she’s about ready to talk about it. She’s upset, not that she got in trouble, but that someone got hurt, and that’s a good sign. Give her a chance and I bet she’ll open up.”

The switch from his easygoing cheer to more somber was a little jarring, but Bucky found himself immediately more confident in the man’s abilities, deciding that he was glad there was at least someone at school who was trying to get through to her as well. “Thanks, I’ll give it a shot.” he answered gratefully, turning back to Jamie. 

“Ready, J?” he smiled fondly at her, trying not to let the anguish at how miserable she seemed affect his tone.

“Yeah,” was all he got in return, but he patiently signed her out and walked her back to the car, fretting all the while about how to talk to her when they got home.


	4. Infinite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Infinite describes things that are endless, like the universe, like time.

After a quiet drive home, Bucky let them both into the apartment, mentally assuring himself that he didn’t need to call Sam for this and dropping his phone along with his keys on the table by the door. 

“You hungry?” he asked Jamie, breaking the silence between them as he crossed the open space to their little kitchen, pulling a bag of grapes out of the fridge and setting to work rinsing them to occupy his hands. 

She didn’t answer, but put her backpack on the couch before climbing up on a stool at the kitchen counter. 

Bucky turned around and gave her a look, “Clean hands?”

Jamie opened her mouth for a moment like she was going to argue with him, and it almost hurt to see the fire of a young Steve in her face as the gears of her mind turned. She seemed to think better of it and slipped off the stool silently, disappearing to the bathroom to wash her hands. Peggy’s influence, no doubt.

By the time she returned, Bucky had the grapes in a bowl, a plate of cheese and crackers, and a glass of water for each of them side by side on the counter. He sat beside her and popped a grape into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully as she munched on a cracker.

Silence stretched between them, and he knew he was the adult here. A conversation needed to happen and he’d have to be the one to start it. 

“So...”

“I didn’t mean to!” Jamie blurted, cutting him off. He fell silent and looked sideways at her, turning on his stool as he caught sight of her face, usually pale skin flushed red with shame. “I didn’t want to hurt anybody, I swear,” she continued mournfully, tears welling up in her deep blue eyes as she finally looked up at him. 

His heart ached, “Oh Jamie, I know you didn’t.” He cupped her face with his flesh hand and brushed that first tear off of her cheek, then tucked her long brown hair behind her ear, gently pulling out a tangle as he did. “Why don’t you tell me what happened.”

Jamie’s teeth worried at her bottom lip, blinking back further tears as she nodded slowly and launched into her story. 

“I was climbing on the jungle gym by myself, because Ruthie was sick today,” Bucky nodded, Ruthie was Jamie’s best friend, and one of the only kids at her school that he was familiar with, well, her and-

“And then Heather came over and was talking about how she’s going to Disney World.”

Heather. She seemed to be the girl at the center of most of Jamie’s issues at school. Some of the things she’d allegedly said were crueler than he could have ever expected of a 9 or 10 year old girl. Anger curled tightly in his chest, a quiet fury that with the burden Jamie already had to bear, someone would dare to purposely cause her more grief. 

She stayed quiet for a moment, reaching one hand up to wipe her face while the other tightly gripped Bucky’s. 

“And?” he prodded gently, nudging her knee with the smooth metal fingers of his prosthetic. He knew something as trivial as a trip to Disney World wasn’t enough to draw Jamie into an argument.

“She’s, um, gonna take a plane...to get there.”

Bucky’s face darkened, even as a wave of chill bumps ran over him at the mention of flying. No one in his inner circle really spoke about flying - not since the crash. It was silly, really, to avoid the topic entirely, but the pain was still fresh enough that they did so anyway. “She-” he cleared his throat, carefully pushing the anger out of his voice as he took one of Jamie’s hands in his. “What did she say to you, J?” he asked softly.

Jamie’s lip trembled, freshly wet eyes turning towards the floor as she mumbled her response, “She said it was a good thing my dad wouldn’t be the one flying the plane.”

“Oh, Sunshine.” he breathed, pulling her against his chest and wrapping his arms tightly around her as he tried to stifle his own pain at words with such awful implications being thrown at Steve. “It wasn’t your dad’s fault, you know that right?”

She finally let out a quiet sob against his chest and he rubbed a soothing hand over her back, “It wasn’t anyone’s fault.” he whispered, as much to himself as to Jamie.

“I know.” She pulled away to look up at him, her face streaked with tears and worry in her eyes like he wasn’t going to believe her. “That’s what I told her. I told her that Dad wasn’t even flying the plane.” Her voice was shaky with half sobs and she looked at him pleadingly.

“Okay, well that’s good. You set her straight.” he reached over the counter and grabbed a paper towel to dab at her tears, “But honey, how did she get hurt? Principal Hill told me that Heather’s lip was busted open.”

Her expression turned a little sheepish at that, the sobs quieting. “Um. Mr. Stark told me that since I’m small, if a bully is bigger than me I can use their size against them.” It all came out in one quick breath, and Bucky raised his eyebrows.

“Oh did he? And who is Mr. Stark?” he asked levelly, trying not to get upset without due. 

“My science teacher. He’s teaching us about space, but also he tells me stuff when class is over.” Her face is guarded, like she’s bracing herself for Bucky to scold her or something, but he wasn’t done pulling the story out of her. 

“Okay...so how did you use Heather’s size against her.”

Jamie avoided his gaze, but answered the question. “Well she was reaching out like she was gonna push me or pull my hair, and I just...ducked out of the way at the last second. I didn’t know she was gonna hit her face on the jungle gym, honest.”

As terrible as it was, Bucky had to fight back a little bit of a grin. God, this little girl was Peggy and Steve, to a tee. He managed to keep a straight face, but even so, he didn’t know what to tell her. He didn’t want to encourage her to let the bully push her around, but didn’t want her thinking it was okay to let people get hurt, even if this sounded like a total accident.

In the end he decided honesty was best.

“I don’t think Heather getting hurt was really your fault. I think you both need to be a little more careful, but she wasn’t being very nice and you were just trying to get away. From now on I want you to just walk away if Heather ever tries to say anything to you about your mom and dad, okay? Just walk away from the start.”

It wasn’t something Steve would have agreed to, or could have followed through on even if he had, but Jamie, like Peggy, was much more likely to fight with her words than her fists. 

“Yeah, okay.” she agreed, with only a touch of moping in her voice - like she knew he was right, but that part of her that was prone to picking fights had just gotten a taste of what it felt like to  _ win.  _

“Jamie Elizabeth, I mean it. You’re not in trouble now but next time you will be.”

“ _ Okay. _ ” she grumbled, close enough to rolling her eyes that Bucky had a brief flash of panic for the days of teenage sass to come.

“Good. Now you stick to that. I’m going to have a little chat with that teacher of yours and I think you’re gonna be just fine.” He smiled softly at her, wiping away the rest of her tears and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“Now finish your snack, then homework.”

Jamie grumbled and he ignored it in favor of grabbing his phone from the door, feeling relieved that their talk had gone so well as he dialed the school’s number to set a meeting with this Mr. Stark.


	5. Nebula

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A nebula is sometimes the birthplace of stars.

“Yes, of course. Tomorrow’s fine. Just after the last bell, uh huh.”

Tony hung up the phone and sighed, shaking his head. 

“Uh oh, roped in to working late again?” Rhodey’s voice cut through the silent classroom and Tony looked up to where his best friend and college roommate stood in the doorway, wearing a Westview Middle School wrestling t-shirt and track pants.

“I may have given some, uh...controversial advice to a student. Gotta indulge Hill by taking a meeting to clear things up. Parent-Teacher conference tomorrow after school. Or uh. Godparent-Teacher, I guess?” he feigned nonchalance, but there was a part of him that had felt a sliver of guilt in his stomach ever since the altercation between Jamie Rogers and Heather Williams earlier in the day.

It was a big school, huge really, if you counted the adjacent middle and high school campuses, but the news of a ‘fight’ on the playground had spread like wildfire through the faculty, so at this point everyone knew - including Rhodey, surely.

“Tony, what did you do?” 

Tony avoided his gaze and his question by turning around to the chalkboard, carefully rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt, and grabbing the eraser to begin wiping away the drawings from his last class of the day. 

This school was well funded. Resources abounded and bright students, too. That was one of the things that had drawn Tony to it. The funding meant that they had the latest in educational technology, multipurpose smart boards in every classroom, tablets for each grade - but there was something classic and nostalgic about teaching at the chalkboard, so Tony made a point to do so regularly. 

He let himself get caught up in wiping away the solar system he’d drawn on the board and wasn’t sure how long had passed before Rhodey cleared his throat behind him. 

“Oh, you’re still here?” he feigned innocence, but sighed at the look on his best friend’s face. They’d known each other long enough that there really wasn’t any point in trying to keep anything from him, even if Tony was a little abashed. 

“Fine. Fine! I may have given Jamie Rogers a little tip on how to deal with a bully twice her size.” He held his hand up in surrender, “I didn’t expect anyone to get really hurt.”

“Tony! You could get in deep trouble for something like that!” Rhodey’s tone was frustrated but not unkind. 

Tony sighed, “I know. But Rhodey...that little girl is getting bullied all the time and, you know...I feel for her.” 

Rhodey rolled his eyes, but his expression was soft and a little sad, “I know you do, but you can’t get too involved. Leave it to Hill and Barton. She’ll be alright.”

James Rhodes had been a Track and Field star in his youth. He’d stuck with it for ages, through high school, then college, and even for a while after that, to stay fit in the army - but eventually he wanted his life to slow down. He’d signed on at the school to coach and teach P.E. because, like Tony, he loved teaching, and he cared about the kids. 

That was why Tony knew he’d understand.

“I’m not gonna turn a blind eye. I’m gonna look out for her. And that’s what I’ll tell Mr. Barnes when he’s in here tomorrow afternoon. It’ll be fine.”

The fond smile that crossed Rhodey’s face countered his condescension. “You’ve got a big heart, Stark. It’s your early retirement.”

 

*****

 

When Bucky stepped through the doors of Westview Elementary for the second time in two days, he’d already had time to brace himself. The final bell had rung just before he got there, and the school’s entryway was  _ swarming _ with children. The kindergarteners followed their teachers in a line, linked together hand in hand as they trailed out the front doors, while the rest of the students were herded en mass out to the sidewalk where busses and parents waited to pick them up and take them home. 

He steeled himself with a deep breath and started weaving through the crowd, carefully dodging children as they came out of the woodwork, stragglers from the bathrooms and mostly empty classrooms. It was like swimming upstream as he made his way to the far end of the school, where the 5th grade classrooms were. 

Typically, he’d be safely outside, waiting in his car as the pickup line inched along until he could simply unlock the doors for Jamie to climb in so they could flee the madness together. 

Peggy and Steve had lived outside of the school’s bus routes, so Peggy had driven Jamie to and from school every day - with Bucky subbing in for her on occasion. When she came to live with him, he’d maintained that tradition, even though there was a bus stop down the block from his building. 

Based on his own memories, riding the bus could be traumatic, and that was the last thing he’d wanted to submit Jamie to when so much of her life was already changing. It wasn’t as though his career made it difficult - as an author he worked predominantly from home anyway, aside from the occasional meetings with his agent and editor. 

It was almost like the flip of a switch, as the swarming crowds of children dispersed and he found himself alone in the hallway, stopping outside a door that was open just a crack. The outside was covered in navy paper, brightly colored cutouts of the planets filling the bulk of the space and “Mr. Stark’s Class” across the top in cheery lettering. Stars with the names of about 15 students littered the rest of the door and Bucky ran his finger over the one that said “Jamie” before snapping out of it and knocking lightly on the door. 

“Come in, come in!”

The voice from inside beckoned him in, and Bucky pushed the door further open, and stepped into the classroom to see Mr. Stark, presumably, standing with his back to the door, busily erasing what looked like a rough sketch of Saturn’s rings from a large chalkboard. His eyes lingered for a moment on the man’s back, broad shoulders covered in the expensive-looking white fabric of a button up shirt, sleeves cuffed to the elbows bearing tanned forearms dusted with dark hair…

Bucky cleared his throat, more to realign his own focus, but drawing the teacher’s attention all the same. As the man turned, Bucky took a few steps forward, pushing back a few strands of hair where they’d fallen loose from the messy knot at the back of his neck. 

“Mr. Stark?” he managed before catching sight of the man’s front and feeling his mouth dry up. He was...well,  _ gorgeous.  _ Carefully groomed facial hair framed a bright smile, and warm brown eyes, and-

_ Stop it!! _

He scolded himself for being so easily distracted - though he’d always been a sucker for such a pretty face. But this was about  _ Jamie _ not Bucky, and he needed to act like a parent for once. He was absently grateful for the large wooden desk between them.  

“Oh, you can definitely call me Tony.”

Bucky’s jaw dropped just slightly at the mildly suggestive tone that accompanied those words, and the eyes that roved over him, stopping at his face and widening, as though the teacher had just remembered his environment.

“I mean. Yes. I’m Mr. Stark, but Tony, please. You must be Mr. Barnes.”

“Uh, Bucky.”

Mr. Stark-  _ Tony _ ’s eyebrows shot up incredulously at that and Bucky rolled his eyes, prepared to explain that yes, it was a weird name, no he hadn’t chosen it, but Tony gave a little shrug and nodded, setting the chalkboard eraser down without taking his eyes off of Bucky. 

“Bucky, then. You wanted to talk to me about Jamie. Bright kid. Quiet, but smart. How is she?”

Bucky wetted his lips, not totally trusting his voice after the initial shock of just how  _ attractive _ Jamie’s teacher was - even if he’d firmly settled his mind in the ‘that’s inappropriate, stop thinking about it’ camp. 

“Yeah, she’s...well, you’ve seen her more recently than I have, but she’s with the guidance counselor now to give us a chance to talk, and he’s….interesting.”

Tony snorted. “Clint is certainly interesting.” he grinned, moving around to the other side of his desk to lean against the edge of it and cross his arms over his chest. “What is it that you’d like to know about Jamie. I know she’s been having a few problems with the other girls, but I’m afraid I haven’t been a witness to any of that.” He sounded actually regretful that he hadn’t been there, though Bucky couldn’t extrapolate why that might be. 

“Well,” Bucky started, not totally sure how to broach this subject, and settling on just reporting back what Jamie had told him the night before. “Jamie told me that you gave her some...advice on how to deal with bullies. Seems that following it only managed to get her into more trouble.”

Blue eyes traced a flash of regret as it passed over Tony’s face. So it was true, then. 

“Ah, well. Um. Yes, I might have...tried to equip her with some knowledge to prevent...well... _ losing _ the fights.” He looked a little sheepish, and Bucky was finding it hard to be quite  _ angry _ , but he was still annoyed. 

“I’d really prefer, Mr. Stark, if you refrained from teaching my goddaughter  _ anything _ about fighting, in the future.” His tone was firm and his gaze pointed. Bucky might not really know what it meant to be a parent, but he’d been fiercely protective of Jamie since the day she was born. That was something he knew how to do. If this man was going to give her advice that could get her hurt, he didn’t have any problem telling him off over it - delightfully suave-looking though he was. 

Tony’s face mirrored the shame that Bucky had read on Jamie’s just yesterday. “I really didn’t mean to cause any trouble, I thought she just needed someone to take an interest.” His eyes widened, “Not that you don’t! I meant here, at-at school. Someone  _ here _ should take an interest.” The man rubbed at the back of his neck, “I’m on her side, here.” he offered, apologetically, “I’m sorry if my advice made things worse for her.”

That sentiment softened Bucky. Jamie’s teacher was trying to look out for her. Bucky could see the good in that. He sighed. “I...appreciate that. God knows she needs all the support she can get and I’m just….” he trailed off but gestured vaguely to himself, his ratty clothes, messy hair, and only one good arm.

“You’re doing an amazing thing.” Tony’s voice was soft but clear, and Bucky looked up from where his gaze had fallen to the ground, eyes questioning. “Not everyone would take in their friend’s kid like that, out of the blue with no time to prepare yourself. It’s admirable.” 

“I uh….thanks, I guess.” Bucky mumbled, shuffling on his feet. He was only mildly uncomfortable discussing the topic with a near stranger - a testament to how far he’d come since he’d started spending time at the VA. 

“As for me, I will keep my mouth zipped and only teach Jamie about space.” Tony gestured around the room, and Bucky followed his gaze to the model solar system suspended from the ceiling, then back down to Tony. 

He looked on for a moment, trying to decide just what to make of this man, who seemed caring and enthusiastic if a little overzealous, “I don’t mind you taking an interest just...as long as she stays out of the principal’s office from now on.” He felt that he’d been heard and didn’t expect anymore problems - and the thought of someone keeping an eye on Jamie when Bucky couldn’t was more of a relief than he could have guessed. 

“I’ll do my best to keep all three of us out of there. Hill can be downright scary when she wants to be.”

That brought an amused smile to Bucky’s face, and he nodded. “Good.” 

A moment of silence passed between them, Bucky smiling on and Tony grinning back, until they almost simultaneously realized what was happening. 

Tony’s hand went to rub at his neck again and he stood from where he was leaning against the desk, “Well, I’ve got, uh, papers to grade, and I’m sure Jamie is ready for you to rescue her from Clint’s after school jam session, so…”

“Right. Thanks. It was nice to meet you, Mr. Stark. Tony.”

Tony’s eyes twinkled, “Likewise, Bucky.”


	6. Illuminate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Illuminate means to light something, to make it brighter.

“I’m telling you, Rhodey, he had the kind of shoulders I want to be tossed over and carried away on.”

Rhodey snorted, “Yeah, so you’ve mentioned, in an unnecessary amount of detail.”

“But have I mentioned the arm? It was pretty sexy.” Tony hummed thoughtfully, absently wanting to get his hands on that high-tech prosthesis for more reasons than one.

“You have. And that might be even more creepy and problematic than the fact that you’re way overly interested in your student’s guardian. One you met for approximately five minutes.”

Maybe Rhodey was the voice of reason, but Tony wasn’t really interested in reason at the moment. He’d been daydreaming (and night dreaming) about Bucky Barnes since the man had stood in this very classroom just over a week ago, and despite the time, it hadn’t let up. 

Realistically, he should put it out of his head, as there wasn’t much chance of him seeing Bucky again anytime soon. Unless of course he stalked the parent pick-up line after school which, well, would seriously be crossing over into inappropri-

“Shit.” Tony pushed the stack of papers in front of him away and glanced frantically down at his watch. “I gotta go, Thursday, I’m on carpool duty.”

“Don’t be creepy, Tones.”

Tony rolled his eyes as he headed out the door, “Don’t you have like a….shotput...match...or something to run a practice for?”

Rhodey’s response was vaguely infuriated, but thankfully muffled from the door of Tony’s classroom swinging shut between them. Tony knew very well that track practice at the high school didn’t start for another hour, but he wasn’t going to listen to Rhodey say that, particularly when he was late. 

The hallway was still crowded in typical last-bell fashion and he weaved his way through the sea of tiny bodies with practiced ease, managing to reach the front door after only one or two children had been herded to their respective cars. 

“Forget again?” Laura Barton stood with a clipboard in hand - the list of kids to be picked up - and one child of her own clinging to each leg, matching grins on their faces. Their mother was the art teacher, and their father the guidance counselor, so the two of them had the run of the place pretty much all the time.

“Laura. Lila. Cooper.” He said with a grin and a nod to each of them. “Got a little held up, another member of the faculty-”

“Chatting with Rhodey in your classroom, then?” Spot on, of course. 

“How do you know it wasn’t Bruce?”

“Bruce is on bus duty, and he’s never late.”

Tony shot her a mock glare, “I’m hurt. Really.”

“You’ll live, here.”

She handed him the clipboard and his eyes scanned it, each child was listed along with their primary and secondary pick-up person including color, make, and model of the car they’d be driving. That information was generally superfluous, as the faculty that worked the pick-up zone knew most all of the parents that picked up children. 

One name, of course, caught his eye, and Tony told himself that it was because he’d been encouraged to take an interest in her - Jamie Rogers. The name James Barnes was listed in bold as her main pick-up, with a Sam Wilson just below in parenthesis. Tony filed away the James/Jamie situation for later - a question to ask should he ever have the chance. 

He busied himself verifying the faces and cars that picked up each child, marking their names off as they went, and all the while scoping out the line of cars for a green Ford Escape to pull to the front

_ Don’t be creepy, _ he reminded himself, though he’d never admit that to Rhodey. He just...wouldn’t mind seeing those pretty blue eyes again, was all. 

As the crowd of children dwindled and the cars became fewer and further between, Tony noticed that Jamie was one of the students that lingered, then Laura and her two kids headed off to meet Clint, and finally, the small brunette girl was the only child left. 

“Hey, your godfather’s definitely supposed to be picking you up today, right?”

Jamie looked up at him, worry in her eyes, “Yeah, he always does. He’s never been late before.”

In any other situation, Tony would grumble that  _ sure, fine, no one but Tony was ever late for anything _ . But there were more important matters at hand.

“Hmm. Why don’t we give him a call and see where he is, what do you think?”

Jamie nodded, and Tony pulled his phone out, dialing the number on the pick-up list and holding it up to his ear. It rang three, four, five times, then went to a voicemail that declared it as Bucky’s phone prior to the tell-tale beep. He hung up and looked down at Jamie, who seemed even more alarmed. 

“Huh, no answer.” 

The kid looked downright panicked at that. “Bucky always answers his phone. Even when he’s working.” 

Tony’s heart ached for her, the pain in her face making him wish he could somehow protect her from everything. He knew she was raw from losing her parents so it made sense that not being able to reach her guardian would be terrifying. A point proven by the tears beading up in her eyes. 

“Hey, hey, it’s alright. I’m sure that Bucky is fine. Maybe it’s on silent. Let’s just…” he faltered. Tony knew what he wanted to do, offer to take her home himself, make sure everything was okay, see her reassured that she hadn’t been left behind, not again. He also reasoned that it was a little inappropriate. He was her teacher and not her guardian, but at this point, the bulk of the faculty would have left the building to go home too. “Let’s go check it out. I can give you a ride home, and see what’s going on. Does that sound okay?”

Big blue eyes shone up at him, her face was red and her hair hanging in long tangles down to her waist and it swung back and forth as she bit her lip, nodding frantically. Tony sighed, he’d be getting invested in this kid even if Bucky hadn’t encouraged it. She was magnetic.

“Okay. Let’s just walk back to my class for a minute and then we can go.”

 

*****

 

Fifteen minutes later, Jamie was safely strapped into Tony’s passenger seat and he was carefully following the GPS directions to her apartment. 

He glanced from the road over to her every few moments, noting that she didn’t look on the verge of tears anymore, but she was still quiet, and worried at her lip with her teeth so much that he was afraid it might start to bleed. 

“Okay, here we go!” He said cheerfully, pulling into the parking lot of her building, “Lead the way, Miss Rogers.”

They both got out of the car and he had to nearly jog to keep up with her as she ran to the front door and up to the third floor. Tony panted, absently wondering why he didn’t do more cardio as she stopped in front of what must be Bucky’s door, and dug around in her backpack for a set of keys. It looked like just two house-type keys, one painted a bright pink and the other purple, with a glittery J keychain on them. 

She slid the pink, the more worn of the two, into the lock and turned it, stopping to look up at Tony. “Are you gonna come in?” 

He faltered for a moment at that “Do you want me to?”

She bit her lip again, thinking for a second, then nodding, so he nodded too.

“Sure. I’ll make sure you get in okay.”

Jamie swung the door open and stepped inside, Tony followed, closing the heavy door behind them. 

“Bucky?!” Jamie called out into the apartment sounding strained and worried.

Tony couldn’t help but let his eyes trail over the place. It was nice. Clean, simple. Very little decoration aside from various drawings and such that were clearly Jamie’s, and much older than the time she’d been living with him.

The space was open with a modest kitchen to the left, faux marble countertops with plain appliances, a bar with three stools pulled up and small table and four chairs tucked into a nook at the end of the counter. The right side of the space was a living room; a beaten but comfortable looking sofa faced a decently sized TV that was mounted on the wall with rows and rows of DVDs beneath. A mix of genres clearly indicated an adult and a young girl living in the home.

“Mr. Stark!” The panic in Jamie’s voice was back and Tony brought himself back to the matter at hand. She came running down a hallway that lead further into the apartment with a wild expression, “It’s Bucky, he’s not okay.”

A pit opened up in Tony’s stomach and he finally shed the weirdness of the whole situation to follow her through the first door on the left, which looked like a spare bedroom made into an office space. A laptop computer sat on a wooden desk, rolling chair pushed away from it, and in the corner, Bucky Barnes, crouched on the floor with his face screwed up tight as though he was in pain, eyes tightly closed, and the prosthetic arm pulled close to his chest. 

“Crap. Okay, um Jamie, dear, is there a...neighbor or someone you could stay with for a little bit? Or maybe the people at the front office?” It was a nice building, surely the office manager could look after her for a short while.

“Um, Sam’s apartment is downstairs.”

Sam. Sam Wilson, Jamie’s secondary pick-up person. That would work.

“Okay, good. Do you think you could go see Sam for a while?”

“He’s at work. But I have a key.” Jamie held up the keys, still in her hand. 

Well. It wasn’t an ideal situation, but ideal had gone out the window a long time ago, so Tony nodded. If this Sam could pick her up from school, and she had a key to his apartment, it seemed safe enough for the moment. “Okay. Go there. I’m going to make sure Bucky is okay, and then we’ll come get you, alright?”

She looked scared, but she nodded, backing out of the room like her eyes didn’t want to leave Bucky, but she finally turned, and he heard the door close and the lock click. 

It was only when Tony looked back to Bucky that he realized how his heart was pounding. He didn’t know what to do, wasn’t sure what was going on. A glance around the room confirmed the suspicions brought on by the prosthetic arm; dog tags dangled from the desk lamp, a purple heart rested in a shadowbox on the wall, and a picture of a group of men in army greens sat on the desk. Bucky had been injured in war.

Those, combined with the posture and shallow breathing pointed to PTSD, and while Tony wasn’t a therapist or anything of the sort, he’d had a panic attack or two in his day, so he settled for slow, low, and soothing. 

He crouched down to Bucky’s level, close enough to reach out, but far enough to avoid any potential backlash from the veteran.  “Bucky. Bucky, you’re okay. You’re at home. No one is hurting you.”

The words didn’t get any response, so Tony reached out, slowly resting a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, “Bucky?”

Bucky’s eyes flew open, pupils blown, frantically searching the room, as he let out a low groan. “It’s gone. It’s gone.” He cried mournfully, clutching onto the prosthetic tighter, still breathing heavily.

Tony’s chest tightened. Was he reliving losing his arm? “Bucky, please. It’s Tony. Tony Stark. You’re at home. You’re safe.” 

“Please don’t take it.” it was a whimper, and Bucky’s eyes had finally settled, looking pleadingly at Tony as though the fate of his missing limb rested in Tony’s hands.

“I’m not taking anything. You’re in the states. You came back. It’s 2018. I’m Jamie’s teacher. I brought her home from school. Westview Elementary. ” he continued babbling in what he hoped was a soothing tone, saying anything he could think of to bring Bucky back to the present, but he saw the recognition in Bucky’s eyes at Jamie’s name. 

“Jamie?” Bucky said softly, his whole body loosening. His eyes scanned the room slowly, then looked back to Tony. “Mr. Stark? What’s….” Bucky’s eyes widened, and Tony was sure he was back. 

“It’s okay. Jamie is fine. She’s at Sam’s apartment.”

Bucky slumped in relief, scrubbing his flesh hand over his face. 

“Oh God. What….what time is it?”

Tony smiled softly, “A little before four. You were a bit out of it there.”

“I didn’t show up to get her.” Bucky said miserably, “She was waiting on me and I just...I  _ abandoned  _ her there. Oh my God, Tony.” He seemed to once again come back to himself and really realize who he was talking to “Tony?” 

“I brought Jamie home, when you didn’t show up. She uh, wanted me to see her inside to be sure everything was okay. I’m kinda glad I did.”

“I can’t believe she saw this. I can’t believe  _ you _ saw this.” Bucky started struggling to his feet and Tony tightened the grip he still had on the man’s shoulder to help him. 

“Steady, there we go.” As Bucky got his balance Tony let go and stepped back. “Nothing to be ashamed of. Jamie might be a little freaked out,” Bucky winced, “but I think she’ll just be happy you’re okay. Worried her to see you hurting, is all.” Tony was honest and sympathetic.

He felt terrible that this entire scenario just made him more intrigued by Bucky, and simultaneously he wondered when and how it would be appropriate for him to take his leave, to step out of what was a private family affair.

“I should go get her, Sam is still at work so she’s alone.” Bucky started making his way towards the front door, mostly steady on his feet. 

Tony followed behind him, wanting to be sure all was well before he left. He followed Bucky down the stairs and stood back as he knocked on the door of the apartment directly beneath his own.

“Jamie? It’s Bucky.”

A few seconds passed before the door swung open and Jamie flung herself out into the hall, wrapping herself around Bucky’s legs in an instant, pressing a teary face into his stomach.

Tony had never been so enamoured in so many ways as he watched Bucky kneel and wrap his arms around her, cradling her head between his hands and his shoulder. 

“I’m so sorry, Sunshine, so, so sorry.”

Jamie just sniffled into his shirt before pulling back to look at him, “You’re okay?”

“I’m okay. I’m not going anywhere. ‘Cept home, with my girl.” 

Jamie smiled tiredly at him, then shifted her gaze to Tony where he lingered in the background. She surprised him by running over and wrapping her arms around him, much like she just had Bucky. “Thanks, Mr. Stark.”

His heart jumped a little, and he held his arms out awkwardly for a moment before allowing one to settle on the back of her head for a second. “Anytime kid. I’ll let you two get home. Have a good evening.”

Tony stepped back as Jamie turned back to Bucky, who mouthed a ‘thanks’ over her head.

Tony nodded. Anytime.


	7. Galaxy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A galaxy is a collection of stars and planets that are held together by gravity.

“I’m not saying we should teach the kids that Pluto is a planet, because IAU says it isn’t, but I am telling them that it  _ used _ to be considered a planet, because science history is still science.”

“Tony, your classroom model solar system  _ has Pluto in it! _ ”

“....So?”

“ _ So?! _ Do you have Eris? Ceres? Makemake?!”

“Bruce, that is beside the point I-”

“I think it’s entirely the point, Tony.”

Tony was prepared to fire back a retort when his phone dinged loudly from where it sat on the table. Saved by the bell. He picked it up and thumbed the screen on, seeing a text message from an unknown number.

Bruce’s eyes went to the device curiously, but he just continued eating his sandwich, watching Tony with that infuriatingly calm gaze of his. 

**Unknown:** _ Hi Tony, this is Bucky Barnes. I wanted to say thanks for your help with Jamie the other day. Would you like to join us for dinner tomorrow night? _

Tony’s eyebrows shot up into his hairline. Dinner? With Bucky? At his apartment?

“What, did someone send you a dick pick?” 

“What?!” Tony sputtered, jumping slightly as he realized that he was, in fact, in the middle of a conversation with his co-worker. 

“You just went red as a tomato. Never seen you blush like that. Got a hot date?”

Tony laughed nervously, “Well….not exactly.” He considered what to tell Bruce for a moment, then shrugged. “You know how I gave Jamie Rogers a ride home the other day?” He’d mentioned the situation briefly to a few other faculty, though nothing about the scene he’d found when he arrived at her home. 

Bruce nodded, chewing.

“Her godfather asked me to join them for dinner as a thank you.” Honest enough. He didn’t need to point out that her godfather happened to be rugged and sculpted with an endearing touch of vulnerability, now did he?

“And you’re hoping to get laid. Is that totally wise, Stark?”

Tony choked on his water. “Banner! What the hell, man?”

Bruce only laughed, “You’re too easy to read. I’ll leave you to text the hot dad, don’t do anything stupid.”

Tony glared at his back as the man threw out his trash and wandered off. He was  _ not _ trying to get laid. Not exactly. He liked them both. Certainly wouldn’t mind spending a dinner with them. Wouldn’t mind having an interaction with Bucky under better circumstances than before, either. 

The phone dinged again.

**Bucky Barnes** :  _ Sorry to text while you’re at work. Also, I hope you don’t mind I got your number from when you called me. _

Well that answered a question that Tony had been too flustered to ask.

**Tony Stark:** _I don’t mind at all. Dinner sounds nice, is Jamie alright with that?_

It wouldn’t do to turn up at his student’s home unwanted, even if he was pretty sure that Jamie liked him as a teacher. 

**Bucky Barnes** :  _ Of course, it was her idea. _

Tony’s face most definitely did not fall at that. Not at all. It was nice, sweet, even that Jamie wanted to have him over for dinner. Of course it was her idea. He was taking an interest, having an effect. It was a good thing, and he wouldn’t let himself be disappointed...no matter how much he wished the invitation was coming from Bucky himself. 

**Tony Stark** : _ Then I’ll be there.  _

**Tony Stark:** _Can I bring anything?_

**Bucky Barnes:** _Just yourself. 7:00pm. See you tomorrow._

 

*****

 

Bucky was frantic. He methodically checked the table to be sure it was set properly for about the 100th time, mentally scolding himself all the while for being so obsessive about the whole thing.

This was just a dinner for Jamie’s teacher. It really should not be such a big deal, but he wanted to be sure that it went well. 

Sure, he needed some way to say thank you for helping out, but he also wanted to make a better impression. Tony probably thought that he was a hopeless disaster after walking in on Bucky’s episode like that, and Bucky was embarrassed at dropping the ball on picking Jamie up from school. He wanted to show that he was a competent caretaker….and he wouldn’t mind seeing Tony again.

“Bucky, the oven’s beeping.”

Crap. He shook himself out of his thoughts and hurried into the kitchen to save their dinner, ignoring the mirth in Jamie’s eyes. (It was refreshing to see her so close to  _ happy _ , but did she have to direct the sass at him, now?)

“I see you laughing at me. How’s the salad coming?”

Bucky was handling the cooking - chicken, roasted vegetables, warm rolls, and brownies for dessert - and Jamie had called dibs on mixing the salad. It was one of the kits that came all together in one bag, but he was happy for her to have a task that wouldn’t result in Tony showing up to see Bucky nursing her burnt hand, or something equally horrifying. 

It was, though, actually Jamie’s idea to invite Tony to dinner, so he wanted her to be able to help with the preparation, even if it was something small. He loved seeing her  _ want _ to do that kind of thing, especially when she’d only recently gotten to the point that he didn’t have to drag her to the dinner table to eat with him. 

“It’s ready! Can I put it on the table?”

Bucky smiled, “You bet, then put ice in the glasses and fill ‘em up with water?”

Jamie nodded and ran off to do just that, and a moment later a few sharp knocks on the door told him that Tony had arrived. 

“I’ll get it!” Jamie said excitedly, and Bucky’s heart soared to see her beaming like that. She abandoned the water glasses on the counter to run to the door, and Bucky shook his head but finished the task for her - he wasn’t about to get in the way of her excitement. 

“Mr. Stark brought us a cactus!” 

“He did?” Bucky asked with a grin, looking up to see that Jamie was, in fact, holding a tiny potted cactus with a little yellow blossom on top as she trailed into the kitchen followed by….wow. 

Tony Stark stood in the kitchen, dressed up in a pale blue button-up, tucked neatly into navy slacks and unbuttoned at the top, the tie he usually wore nowhere in sight. His hair was carefully combed in a way that begged to be messed up and a slightly nervous grin lingered on his mouth as amusement danced in his eyes. “Felt like a low commitment host gift - doesn’t need a lot of water - and I couldn’t show up empty handed.”

Bucky hoped it was the heat of the kitchen and not a blush keeping his face warm as he nodded, feeling messy with his hair tied back in a low ponytail and a U.S. Army t-shirt over dark jeans. “That was very thoughtful, uh, Jamie obviously loves it.”

He jerked his chin over to the window where she stood, carefully placing the cactus on the sill, then repositioning it a time or two.

“A successful choice, then.” Tony fell silent for a moment, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet, hands tucked into his pockets. “It smells wonderful in here, I didn’t realize you were a chef.”

Bucky opened his mouth to answer, but Jamie beat him to it. 

“Bucky cooks all the time. He makes all my lunches for school, he even did when I was little and he had to go back to the Army a lot.”

Tony smiled at that, “Well that was certainly nice of him.” His eyes downright twinkled as he looked up at Bucky, whose gaze fell down to the counter. 

“Lots of MREs can give a guy the cooking bug, for sure. It was one of my favorite things to do when I was on leave...haven’t really been able to shake it.” Bucky shrugged, gesturing at the spread he’d prepared. “Should definitely eat it while it’s warm though.”

“Yes, I’m starving!” Jamie had returned, apparently having found the perfect place for their new cactus, and was pulling out her chair at the table to sit down. 

“Hey, clean hands?” Bucky asked in a mildly accusatory tone. Jamie grumbled, but went to the kitchen sink and washed her hands in a flash, Tony chuckling on all the while. 

“Clean hands!” She declared, returning to the table, and plopping down. “Mr. Stark you can sit here.” She pointed at the seat next to hers happily, and Tony quickly moved to oblige her. “I made the salad, it’s the best part.”

“Oh, I definitely want some of that, then.”

Bucky thought his chest might burst as he grinned ear to ear at the two of them, finally settling down in his own seat to help pass food around the table and load up his own plate. 

They chatted comfortably through dinner, talking about Jamie’s classes, how much she liked learning about space, how Tony liked teaching at Westview, and Bucky’s latest book that had just been released.

It felt eerily like a typical family dinner, and while Tony and Bucky had both come into the situation with some nerves, those faded away and they began to enjoy themselves. Laughing over this or that that Jamie said - apparently Mr. Rhodes wanted her to join the Track team next year, because it was a good sport for small people like her - and occasionally holding each other’s gaze for just a little too long.

“Well, Jamie said you cooked a lot, but she didn’t say just how well. That was a great meal, Bucky.” Tony rubbed a hand over his stomach to emphasize his point and Bucky smiled sheepishly.

“Thanks. I think I can say Jamie and I both had a great time tonight, we don’t have a lot of dinner guests, so this was nice.”

“Buckyyy” Jamie, who had moved to collect all the dishes into the sink was at Bucky’s side, tugging on his prosthetic elbow. He raised an eyebrow up at her. “Can Mr. Stark stay for movie night?”

“Oh, J, I’m sure he’s got other things to do this evening.” He looked over at Tony apologetically, trying to nonverbally let him off the hook, but Jamie was turning towards her teacher. 

“On Fridays Bucky lets me stay up late and we watch a movie after dinner. His agent got us a copy of Incredibles 2, and that’s not even out on DVD yet!” she explained excitedly. 

Bucky shook his head, laughing “Hey, that’s supposed to be a secret!” Nat did him little favors like that once in a blue moon, more often though, now that Jamie was living with him. His eyes cut over to Tony as Jamie ran into the living room to find the unlabeled plastic case holding their new movie. “Please don’t feel obligated to stay. She won’t break if you have to leave, promise.” 

‘ _ If you have to leave. _ ’ It sounded a little too much like a request for him to stay as Bucky played back his own words in his ears, and he was going to elaborate, but Tony was smiling fondly between the two of them and shrugged. “I don’t mind- I mean...I’d like to stay. If that’s...alright with you?”

Bucky definitely flushed at that, because it felt very much like Tony was asking if  _ Bucky _ wanted him to stick around a little longer. “The more the merrier.” 

 

*****

 

Jamie didn’t make it that far into the movie. The excitement of the day had worn her down, and she was out cold in a flash. 

“I should move her to bed.” Bucky whispered, noticing that, like himself, Tony was disregarding the movie, in favor of grinning at Jamie as she napped on the sofa against Bucky’s side. Tony nodded, and Bucky slipped an arm around Jamie’s shoulders and the other under her knees to carry her to her bedroom. 

When he returned, Tony had stopped the movie and was leaning on the kitchen counter, eyeing a framed picture from Bucky’s first book signing. He held a copy of the book with a bashful smile, next to a proud Steve and Peggy, with an even smaller Jamie between them. 

Tony looked up as Bucky entered the room, “You really have been there her whole life, huh?”

Bucky nodded, smiling sadly at the photo, “When I could be. Had to meet her by a Skype call from my base overseas to the hospital where Peggy had her. She was always something bright to come home to.” 

Tony grinned, “You call her Sunshine.” 

He flushed, but smiled at that, nodding. “Since day one.”

It was a little surreal, to be standing in his kitchen, room dimly lit from the movie, the sun long set, talking about Jamie to her devastatingly handsome teacher who seemed content to linger here.

Bucky looked over at the fridge covered with her paintings, “She helped pull me out of some really dark places a few years back - didn’t even have to try. Kids, ya know?”

Tony nodded, “I know. I really do.” 

The room was quiet enough to hear the clock ticking and the faint buzz of the white noise machine in Jamie’s room. Bucky chewed his lip for a moment, wondering if he should breach the topic that had been in the back of his mind all evening.

“I….it’s not all gone, the dark….obviously. The bad days don’t happen a lot anymore. I’m sorry you stumbled into one. I don’t feel like dinner is enough to thank you, not just for helping Jamie, but me, too.”

Tony rested a hand on his shoulder and Bucky nearly shivered at the contact. “Everyone needs a helping hand sometimes. I’m glad I was there to be yours, no need to thank me more.”

Bucky didn’t know if he agreed, he wanted to do more, but he nodded anyway. 

Silence stretched between them again for a moment, but it didn’t make Bucky uncomfortable. He reveled in the comfortable quiet and the weight of Tony’s hand on his shoulder.

Finally, Tony gave him a squeeze and stepped away. “I should get home before it gets too late,” he said softly, sounding like that was actually the last thing he wanted, but he turned towards the door anyway and Bucky followed him out.

“Thank you for coming, Jamie had a blast tonight….so did I.”

Tony gave a tired smile, “I did, too. Thanks for dinner. Goodnight, Bucky.”

“Goodnight, Tony.” 

Bucky stood in the doorway until Tony disappeared into the stairwell. 

He felt an odd sense of loss, but shrugged it off as fatigue and turned to go to bed. 


	8. Comos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Th cosmos is the universe seen as a calm and peaceful system.

Bucky was pacing.

He walked down the dimly lit hallway past the restrooms only to stop at a door with a sign proclaiming “Employees Only” and turn around to walk the other way.

“You’re going to wear a hole in the floor, and they won’t invite you back.”

Bucky scoffed, looking up to see Natasha standing at the end of the hall, shoulder length red hair perfectly curled and wearing a sleek black dress that managed to be both professional and vaguely dangerous looking. Her expression was somewhere between mildly sympathetic and highly annoyed that she’d had to come find him hiding out in a hallway.

“Would that be such a bad thing?”

She rolled her eyes at him, not deigning to answer.

They were in a small bookstore, one of the few locally owned places left in town - it had survived because the community loved it, and no matter how many chain stores opened up, people still came here. The family that ran it had been there for generations, and they cared a lot about their customers - knew them by name most of the time, and always said hello.

To thank the neighborhood for it’s loyalty, the store was throwing a week of charitable events so they could give back locally, and when they’d partnered with the VA, Natasha had gotten wind of it and suggested that Bucky participate.

He hadn’t expected to turn in to the main attraction of the evening.

Natasha had been Bucky’s agent since the very first time he had a book picked up for publishing, he’d met her in his publisher’s office and she’d been so refreshingly blunt that he’d immediately taken to her. To this day, she wasn’t the most accommodating person - she didn’t baby him, or overthink all of his issues, but so far it had worked out.

So far, she hadn’t gotten him into a situation like this.

His latest book was still relatively fresh off its release and he’d done a small amount of press for it, but Bucky did not do readings. It was something that everyone who worked with him knew. While it had never happened, he had a lingering fear that reading his own words out loud, the raw and real stories of his fellow veterans, would trigger his PTSD - and the last thing he wanted was to have a meltdown in a public place.

It was bad enough to have all of those eyes on him when he was feeling stable, but he didn’t know that he could handle a situation like that. How far could it set him back?

But here he was. After a lengthy discussion on the matter with Sam, Bucky had somehow convinced himself that it would be good for him, and agreed to do it.

Now was the time to regret that decision.

Now that he was shaking and pacing and wiping clammy hands on his khaki pants, Bucky was not so sure that he could do this.

“Is that what you’re wearing?” Nat’s voice cut through the swirling doubt in his mind, and added one more thing for him to worry about. Was this not good enough?

He looked down at his outfit, a chambray button-down untucked, dark khaki pants that were far nicer than his normal garb, and beaten up brown loafers that he’d owned since before his first tour.

“You look fine. You look great.” That was Sam’s voice, and Bucky looked back up to see that Natasha now had company at the mouth of the hall. His friend looked over at Nat and shook his head, “You’re not helping.”

Thankfully, since this was an event to benefit the VA, their whole staff was here, so Sam would be there for support the whole time - a small comfort that managed to calm Bucky, if only slightly.

“I’m not feeling great about this. What if I can’t get through it?” He asked, feeling small to voice his worries.

Sam smiled, “You will. You share your writing with the world all the time. This isn’t all that different. We’ll be there,” he elbowed Natasha, “supporting you, the whole time.”

Natasha rolled her eyes, “Well, of course we will.” She spoke as though it was the most obvious thing on the planet, and well...Bucky couldn’t say she was totally wrong. They’d both been there for him through a lot, even if Sam was a bit better at the reassurance thing than Nat.

He needed them both equally, Sam to keep him sane and Natasha to keep his career on track...and to push him into things that may or may not end up being good for him.

“Okay, fine. I’m fine. Let’s do this.” He found himself wishing for a moment that Jamie was here. She had a history of being able to calm him down, cheer him up, whatever needed doing, just by being around. But his books tended to be a little adult for a 10 year old to hear, so she’d gone to Ruthie’s house for the night, something Bucky had been trying to convince her to do for ages now - and she’d agreed surprisingly easily this time around.

Accepting the fact that he couldn’t put this off any longer, Bucky squared his shoulders and took a breath. “Okay.” he said again, with more confidence.

Sam and Natasha both looked pleased, and parted for him to step out of the hallway, back into the bookstore. It was a small space, which only made the crowd gathered in chairs in the center of the room seem much larger. Bucky pointedly avoided looking directly at any of them as he willed the churning in his stomach to cease. This was for a good cause. A great cause. He’d be fine. His friends were here.

...And Natasha had just announced him, so there really was no turning back now.

The crowd applauded and Bucky approached the podium in the front, thankful that the book was there, ready for him, to give him something to do with his nervous hands. He looked past the audience rather than at them as he spoke.

“Hi, I’m James Barnes, I just want to take a moment to thank Henshaw's for hosting this event. As a veteran who has personally turned to our local VA in dark times...this cause is close to my heart, and I can truly say that your donations tonight will make a big difference in the lives of our veterans.”

Polite applause rang through the space again, and Bucky paged the book open to the chapter he’d elected to read, taking one more deep steadying breath before he began. “There comes a time for every soldier that life on the base starts to feel normal, but for some, normal doesn’t last very long…”

*****

Surprisingly to Bucky (and less so to everyone else), the reading went off without a hitch. He’d found himself appropriately emotional at the low point of the chapter, but able to read on unhindered. Keeping his eyes on the book had helped, and remembering the long conversations he’d had with the soldier who told him that story had helped even more.

By the time he’d finished, he found himself feeling confident, something that he’d taken for granted years ago before so much of his life had changed. Now the very feeling of it had him floating on air - a good place to be for a book signing.

He could socialize just fine when he needed to, though Bucky was more of a ‘quiet night in’ kind of guy. Situations like this where he was expected to have a conversation with every person that stepped up to the table could be draining, but he found himself graciously accepting their compliments on his story and nodding along as they thanked him for his service.

The line moved quickly while the crowd mingled, eating the provided hors d'oeuvres, and visiting with the large number of veterans in attendance. That part was nice too - seeing so many familiar faces in the room, friends, even if he hadn’t been able to look over the crowd much as he read.

Sam made his way over to the table as the line died off, “You did great, Buck. And Scott was really touched by the way you told his story.” His friend beamed proudly, and Bucky felt pride at the compliment, and the fact that he’d done justice to his fellow soldier with his words, which was the entire goal in the first place, telling stories that were real, helping people understand. “And don’t think you’re getting out of here before you sign me a copy.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, knowing that Sam had at least three copies of his book at home already, but he was grinning none-the-less, “Sure thing, pal.” He opened a copy and scribbled ‘You’re ridiculous - Bucky’ inside, getting ready to hand it to Sam when someone approached.

“Could you make one out to your new biggest fan?”

That voice made him shiver before he even looked up, eyes widening, “Tony? What are you doing here?” he had a momentary flair of panic at the fact that Tony had been here all along, but that lingering confidence from the night going so well drowned it out and left a bright smile behind.

“You mentioned it at dinner the other night, I thought I might stop by, make a donation, pick up a copy of your book.” he shrugged, but a blush colored his cheeks, “You were fantastic, by the way.”

It was the first compliment of the evening that got Bucky flustered, he opened his mouth to stammer a reply, but Sam saved him.

“You’re Tony? Tony Stark?”

Tony grinned, “Heard of me, have you?”

Sam laughed, “From Jamie, a lot. Bucky a time or two as well. I also noticed your name on the donation list. I’m Sam Wilson, I work at the VA. Your generosity is gonna help a lot of people, man.” He held out a hand to shake and Tony grasped it firmly.

“It’s nice to meet you, Sam. I’m happy to help out, it’s a great cause.”

After a moment, Sam looked down to Bucky and took his signed book, “I’m going to go find the Henshaws, let you guys talk.” he winked at Bucky and walked away, chuckling at the flush on his friend’s face.

Bucky cleared his throat and looked back to Tony, smiling softly, “It’s nice to see you again. I didn’t know if I would so soon.” He’d expected that one dinner, then maybe a wave from the carpool line on Thursdays, the occasional parent/teacher conference...and he was just really realizing why that thought made him so sad.

“I guess we’re just having trouble staying away from each other.” Tony’s eyes twinkled and Bucky looked down at the table, smiling. He busied himself grabbing a book from the stack and opening to the first page to scribble a note before his wave of confidence died out.

_To Tony, my new biggest fan,_  
Please don’t stay away.  
-Bucky

He closed the book and handed it up to Tony, who raised an eyebrow and opened it. Bucky watched as his eyes widened and a smile broke out across his face. “I don’t plan on it.”

They shared a moment, smiling at each other like lovestruck teenagers, until someone stepped up behind Tony in the line.

Tony broke the silence, “But for now, I’ll leave you to your adoring public. Bye, Bucky.”

He turned to walk away and Bucky found himself jumping to his feet. He shot an apologetic look at the woman in line, “Just one moment, ma’am.”

Tony turned back at his voice and Bucky moved around the table to reach him, smiling even as his hands started shaking again. He had to say what he needed to say before his confidence finally waned, “Tony would you like to go to dinner with me? Just me? On a date?” he blurted it all out in a single breath and worried for a moment he’d have to repeat himself - or that he wouldn’t, but Tony would say no…then Tony’s face lit up and he was nodding.

“I’d like that, soldier. Thought you’d never ask


	9. Stellar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stellar means pertaining to, or characteristic of stars.

It was about a week later that they managed to set actual plans for a date, though they texted in the meantime, silly little ‘hello’s and ‘how are you’s, but Bucky looked forward to getting to know Tony a little better for real, face to face.

“You’re gonna be here when I wake up though, right?” Jamie had been pouting all evening with the knowledge that Bucky was going out tonight. He hadn’t told her where, only that her babysitter, MJ, would be looking after her tonight. Even as she blinked sleepily up at him from the kitchen table, he felt a pang of guilt for leaving her - but it was only normal. He’d not taken many nights out for himself since becoming Jamie’s guardian, it was about time.

“Of course I am, and until then, you get to hang out with MJ!” He nodded his head to where the teenager was sitting across the table, grinning.

“Hey, J, we’re going to have a lot of fun, Bucky told me you’re learning about space in school, so I thought we could look at some stuff with my telescope.”

Bucky grinned. MJ was a great babysitter, and a good constant from before Steve and Peggy’s accident. She’d been watching Jamie since she was about 14, and as a senior at Westview high, she was gifted and a great role model. Bucky was grateful to be able to leave Jamie in her care. 

Jamie’s interest had been piqued at the mention of a telescope and she looked distinctly less sad to see him go. “Okay….Can we see Mars??”

Bucky chuckled and kissed Jamie on the temple, “Have fun, I’ll see you tomorrow, Sunshine.”

He headed to the door, stopping when she jumped to her feet to wrap her arms around his waist. “Bye, Bucky,” she mumbled into a face-full of jacket before turning back to MJ and spouting off another 20 questions about the telescope.

A glance down at his watch told him that Tony would be here any moment, so he headed down to the lobby, smiling to see that his timing had been spot on. Tony was walking through the front door just as Bucky got there, and he had to stop a moment to catch his breath, because he looked  _ so good. _

A flashy velvet sport jacket accented his slim figure, while a pale grey dress shirt was tucked into charcoal pants and unbuttoned far enough to tease a tan chest and throw away the stuffy teacher-in-a-tie look all together.

“Hi. You look great.” Tony’s words mimicked Bucky’s thoughts, and he smiled, jamming his hands into the pockets of his nicest pair of pants (outside of his army dress). They were tight and black, and he’d donned a basic white button-down with a classic black sport coat, the sleeves carelessly shoved up to his elbows. Bucky wasn’t much for dressing up, but this was the first date he’d been on in longer than he could remember, so he’d tried his best, going as far as carefully conditioning and combing out his hair so it looked a little more tame than usual.

“So do you.” He remembered how to breathe and nodded towards the door, “Ready?”

Tony nodded, offering an arm to Bucky, which he stopped and looked at for a moment, before looping his arm through it and following Tony to his car, trying to calm the butterflies in his stomach all the while.

“You know,” Tony said as they drove towards whatever restaurant he had selected for them, “I could have picked you up at your door.”

 

Bucky laughed, “Somehow  _ me _ asking  _ you _ on a date has turned into  _ you _ taking  _ me  _ out.” He didn’t mind it. The whole idea of coming up with a restaurant and remembering all the little courtesies that Tony had already covered was a bit daunting. It was nice to be wooed a little instead. “But I was also worried about Jamie seeing you.” he added, wanting to be honest from the start. 

“Oh?” Tony seemed curious, but not offended.

“Yeah, I just worry about….getting her hopes up. She’s pretty smart, I think she’d figure it out pretty fast and she really likes you, I’d hate to…” he trailed off, not sure of the most delicate way to say what he was thinking.

“To have her get too attached and see this end badly? I get that.” Tony looked over, smiling softly at Bucky’s surprised expression, “You have to be careful with her, I know. I wouldn’t expect anything less.” He reached out and took Bucky’s hand, the prosthetic one, which Bucky now realized was a topic that had never come up between them.

“I..” Tony faltered, “Is this okay?” he asked nervously, going to pull his hand back, but Bucky carefully tightened his fingers around Tony’s.

“Very much okay.”

 

*****

 

Bucky was plenty hungry by the time they got to the restaurant, but was almost distracted from that by how  _ nice _ it was. This wasn’t the kind of restaurant he could afford to eat at, with carefully set tables, soft cloth napkins, multiple forks and glasses at each seat, candles and fresh flowers in the center of the table. 

“Woah, this is fancy.” He looked all around them at the other patrons and even in his nicest clothes he couldn’t help feeling grubby, self-consciously resting his left arm in his lap and out of sight.

Tony seemed to notice his discomfort and bit his lip, glancing around, “Is it too much? We can go somewhere else?”

Bucky went to shrug it off, saying it was fine, but a waiter approached, setting a basket of warm bread on the table and presenting a bottle of wine to Tony, “Our finest red for you and your companion, Mr. Stark.” He uncorked the bottle and poured a splash into Tony’s glass, looking as though he expected him to taste it for approval before leaving.

“Thanks, you can just leave the bottle for now,” Tony waved him off, looking back to Bucky, who was feeling uncomfortable and out of place - and guilty about it, because this was probably a big splurge for Tony, too, right? Teachers certainly didn’t make this much.

“Sorr-” Tony started just as Bucky said “It’s fi-”

They sat for a moment in awkward silence, Bucky looking down at the table in a near panic at the number of forks and  _ was the menu in french? _

“Let’s leave.” Tony said softly, and Bucky’s gaze snapped up to his face.

“Are you sure? This is....this is fine, we can stay.” He didn’t want to reject Tony’s choice for their first date right off the bat, but Tony was already shaking his head and standing, and Bucky couldn’t deny that he felt a wave of relief.

They left the restaurant, Tony giving a quick word of apology to the hostess and then they were back outside in the rapidly darkening cool of the night.

“Sorry.” Bucky said quietly, moving after Tony as he walked down the street, not sure where he was going, but content to follow.

“It’s okay, that was a dumb idea. Used to go there all the time with...it doesn’t matter, I have a better idea.” He sounded unperturbed, but those words stuck with Bucky.

“There? All the time? With who?” He was so confused that he didn’t really register that he was asking too many questions.

Tony took a deep breath, looking like he was about to launch into an explanation, but then he deflated, “There’s a hole in the wall place a block and a half that way, best burritos I’ve ever had. Let’s grab a bite and take a walk?”

Bucky was still at a loss but he nodded, “Yeah, sounds perfect.”

 

*****

 

Fifteen minutes later, they were walking side by side, quietly eating their burritos, and Bucky still didn’t have answers to his questions, but he was determined not to push too hard for them. Tony could say what he wanted to say in his own time. 

“You were right, these are the best burritos. Much more my speed...” he hesitated, “I’m not really the fancy restaurant type, but I guess you figured that out already.”

Tony sighed, “Honestly? I’m not either, I just have...a bit of a past and it comes with the territory. I was just falling back on what I know.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow, glancing over at Tony, “A past that includes five star restaurants with 40 forks?”

“There were four forks, four.” Tony laughed, brining a grin to Bucky’s face.

“Still too many.” he shrugged. “So...do I get any more explanation than that?”

A moment of silence from Tony.

“You don’t have to tell me, it’s fine.”

“I’m just...not used to talking about it, but you should know.” he sounded resolved, and Bucky stayed quiet, as curious as he was, he wanted to give Tony time to collect his thoughts.

“So my parents...well, my dad, really. He was kind of a big deal. Owned a giant company, made a lot of top of the line tech...there were some expectations. I was supposed to finish school and join the R&D department, eventually take over the business. I didn’t want to. The old man and I fought about it all the time, I wanted to teach, I’ve always wanted to teach. Young kids, special kids. Like Jamie.” He paused, and Bucky smiled.

“That wasn’t good enough for his only son, and well...that was what we fought about on the day that he died. A car accident, him and my mom both. I was seventeen.”

“Oh my God, Tony.” Bucky felt like ice water had been poured down his spine as he realized what it was that had drawn Tony to Jamie. He’d been through it. Older, but the same thing.

Bucky reached out and took his hand, crumpling his food wrapper in the other. They were passing a park, and he tugged Tony inside to a bench, throwing their trash away as he went.

“I’m so sorry, Tony.”

Tony smiled sadly, shaking his head. “It was a long time ago. But you know, I was their only son...I got everything, every penny my dad ever made, and all of Stark Industries, at seventeen years old.”

“Wait…Stark Industries? As in…” Bucky pushed up his sleeve, rotating his left arm to show where a faint ‘SI’ was stamped on the back of his prosthetic. He looked at Tony in awe as the man shrugged.

“They’re involved in a lot of tech. I guess...If I hadn’t decided to stick with teaching, I might have ended up meeting you anyway, huh?”

That was a warmer thought, and Bucky tingled with it, dropping his sleeve back down and reaching for Tony’s hand again, with his right this time, so he could feel the warmth of Tony’s palm against his. “That’s nice to think about,” he said softly. “So...who was it that you ate with at that restaurant?”

Tony groaned, “Well, that’s technically off limits for a first date, but since I’m sharing…it was my ex. It’s a very, very long story for another day, but she’s also the woman I ended up giving the company to. It wasn’t….right between us, but I still trust her to protect my parents’ legacy. I see her every so often. That’s her favorite place to eat this far out of the city.” he groaned, “Which probably should have been another red flag about taking you there.”

Bucky laughed, “Maybe. But it’s really fine. We ended up in one of my favorite places, anyway.”

“Oh really?” Tony’s eyebrows went up and he looked around the empty park they were sitting in, “A children’s park?”

“I grew up in this area...across the street from Steve, Jamie’s dad.”

Tony nodded, “I met him a time or two. Seemed like a good guy.”

“Oh, he was, Tony. He was the best friend I could have ever asked for. We played here, in this park. Idiot broke his arm jumping off that swing, we’d hide secret messages in the roots of that tree...” he pointed to each place, frowning as a sadder thought crossed his mind and he gazed over at the bright blue tube slide, “He found me hiding in that slide over there after my parents kicked me out at fourteen, took me home and convinced his ma to take me in.”

“Bucky…” Tony breathed softly, closing a second hand around the one he was already holding.

“They uh...didn’t take very well to a gay son. Haven’t talked to them since that day. None of my family, actually….except my little sister Becca. She sent me a letter when I got discharged from the Army, and again when Steve…..anyway. He was my family. Him and then Peggy, and Jamie as they came along. ‘s why I like it here. Reminds me of that...and that I still have some family left.”

Tony slid an arm around his shoulders and Bucky scooted a little closer into his side.

After a moment, Bucky spoke “Well, we sure do know how to make a date dark and gloomy, don’t we?”

Tony chuckled, and withdrew from Bucky, standing up and holding out a hand. “Let me show you something.”

Confused, but willing, Bucky followed, taking his hand as Tony let him to the middle of the park’s open, grassy space, where he promptly laid down on his back, tugging Bucky with him.

“Look up there.”

Bucky gazed up at the stars, millions of them, seeming to twinkle in the clear night sky.

“It’s beautiful.” He said softly.

“I’ve always liked being out in the suburbs, because the city is too bright for the stars.”

Bucky just hmmed at that.

“See, to see most things, we need light. But not the stars. Stars can’t shine without darkness.”

“That’s profound.” Bucky rolled onto his side to study Tony’s profile as he looked up wistfully at the sky.

“My mother used to say it to me when I was scared of the dark. Carried it with me through a lot of things. Got me interested in space in the first place. Then I heard an astronomer say that the cosmos is within us, that we’re made of star stuff….so I thought, maybe we can’t shine without a little darkness too.”

Tony rolled to his side, propping his head up with his hand and looked at Bucky, who just looked back, a warm feeling pooling in his chest.

The night was chilly, but he didn’t feel it at all as he reached out a hand to cup Tony’s cheek, leaning forward without another thought to press a kiss to his lips.

Tony kissed him back, sweet and slow, and they lingered there for a moment under the stars before pulling back, each of them smiling madly and just barely winded.

“That was…” Bucky trailed off, but Tony grinned, winking at him.

“That was star stuff.”


	10. Flare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a flare is a sudden brief burst of bright flame or light.

**** “Bucky, stop!!” Jamie squealed, giggling all the while as they raced around the kitchen and living room. They’d made a huge mess already, and Bucky was currently focused on catching his goddaughter to retaliate for the frosting she’d smushed in his face...with merciless tickling. 

“Oh no, you don’t get to do that with no payback!” He laughed, catching her and tossing her to the sofa, tickling her sides until she was crying with laughter. 

“Please! Stop! No!” She gasped between laughs, until Bucky finally relented, settling down next to her on the sofa. 

“There’s more of that if you try anything like that again, you rascal.” he teased, out of breath from the chasing and the laughing. 

It had been an amazing day so far, Jamie’s 11th birthday, and conveniently a Saturday, to boot. 

Since it was her first one without her parents, Bucky had packed their day full of plans, hitting on all of her favorite things in the hope that she would still find a way to enjoy the day, even if she was missing them extra. It had been more than 8 months since the accident now, and in the last few weeks, he’d seen her improve by miles, she was smiling more, enjoying things again, her curiosity was back.

But having experienced something similar when he was cut out of his childhood family, Bucky knew that holidays were the hardest time. Steve had done this very same thing for him on his fifteenth birthday, though that day’s plans varied quite a bit from what Jamie and Bucky had been up to all day. 

They’d spent the morning sleeping in and eating a late pancake breakfast, then most of the day at a little painting shop where they’d painted mugs that would be fired in the kiln for them to pick up next week. (Bucky’s was adorned with a sloppy cartoon robot, while Jamie’s was, of course, a sky full of stars.)

After, they had sandwiches at the park - where Bucky very certainly did not gaze thoughtfully at the bench he’d shared with Tony, thank you very much - and hung out on the swingset for a while before heading back home.

The current activity up on the list was cupcake baking. Bucky had gone all out, getting ingredients for every flavor she might want, plus dyes and sprinkles in every color imaginable.

They’d settled on both of their favorites, chocolate on chocolate for Bucky, and strawberry lemonade for Jamie. The strawberry cupcakes were cooling as the chocolate baked, and Jamie had been making great progress on the lemon frosting….up until she’d decided that Bucky’s cheek needed a little bit of frosting and smeared it on his face, causing their kitchen chase in the first place. 

As they caught their breath, grinning like maniacs, Bucky swiped the frosting off his cheek, giving it a taste test under the guise of cleaning himself up. “You know, I think this frosting is just too good to waste. You did a great job, J...and I don’t even like lemon.” He made a face like he’d tasted something sour and Jamie giggled again, before hopping up at the beeping of the oven telling them the other cupcakes were finished. 

“I got ‘em!” she called happily, and Bucky trailed after her to make sure she used the oven mitts and didn’t burn herself. 

“Nicely done.” he nodded as she set them carefully on the counter top. He put a hand on the strawberry ones and found that they were still too warm to frost and frowned, “Looks like these need to cool a while longer, we’ll have to wait a little bit.”

As if needing to see for herself, Jamie repeated his motion of feeling the cupcake and nodded, “yep, still warm.”

Bucky grinned, shaking his head, “So what shall we do while we wait? Play a game? Turn on the TV? Or maybe…” he got a mischievous look on his face, “presents?”

Jamie’s face lit up “Presents!!” She cried excitedly, running over to her chair at the kitchen table and sitting down with a grin. 

The gifts were safely tucked away from prying eyes in Bucky’s closet, so he retreated to get them and returned to the kitchen, setting them on the table in a pile. Admittedly, he’d splurged a little on today, but the check he’d just gotten from his book release more than made up for it, and he’d spend any amount of money to see Jamie happy, even if it was getting more common these days. 

“Alright, have at it.” he said, acting resigned, but unable to hide his own smile. He even perked up a little as she selected a bag, which happened to contain a gift from Tony. They’d spoken briefly about plans for Jamie’s birthday and Tony had asked that Bucky give her a gift and not tell her it was from him, so Bucky had wrapped it in an unlabeled bag and added it in with the other packages. 

“Awesome!” Jamie grinned, pulling a black ball cap out of the bag and immediately placing it on her head, the big, bold NASA logo emblazoned across the front for all to see. “This is so cool! I can’t wait to show Mr. Stark, he says that NASA is where I gotta go if I wanna be an astronaut.” 

“Is that right?” Bucky asked, a grin to rival Jamie’s on his face as he slipped his phone out of his pocket and stealthily took a picture to text Tony later. She ran her hands over the hat for a few moments before Bucky nudged her with a foot under the table. “What else is there?” he asked teasingly. 

Jamie opened the next couple gifts, some clothes that Nat had sent over - making sure to tell Bucky that it was because he couldn’t pick out his own clothes, so there was no way he could properly dress Jamie - and the first two  _ Percy Jackson _ books from Sam, then came Bucky’s gifts. 

The first was a model solar system, much like the one hanging in Tony’s classroom, and a pack of glow in the dark stars. Jamie’s eyes lit up as she looked up at Bucky, “We can put these up in my room?!” she asked excitedly and Bucky nodded.

“Sure thing, J, we’ll do it tonight after cupcakes and dinner, but you’re the space expert, so you’ll have to direct me.”

Jamie nodded excitedly clutching the box close and peering through the clear plastic front at the assortment of planets inside. Eventually she reluctantly set it to the side and pulled over her last present, tearing the paper off and opening the little box to find a small white cell phone. 

It was nothing super fancy, but had a few bells and whistles, and was sturdy, in case she got rough with it. “Woah.” She looked down at the box and back up at him as though wondering if he was serious.

“Now, this is mainly so you can always get in touch with me. My number and Sam’s are already in there, and we put yours in ours, too. There’s games and music and all that fun stuff, but I don’t want to hear about you getting in trouble in class, or I’ll take it right back, hear me?”

He hated to be strict right off the bat, but she was, admittedly, a little young for a cell phone, and there was no better time to set the rules than the beginning. 

Jamie had already pulled the phone out of the box and powered it on to begin tapping away at the screen.

“And after today, no phones at the table. That’s a house rule.” 

She nodded up at him, beaming in her excitement. “This is so cool. Ruthie’s parents won’t let her have a phone until she’s  _ fifteen _ !” 

Bucky chuckled at that, at least he didn’t have to worry about her texting like crazy quite yet, though he was sure that would come. 

The next thing he knew, Jamie was launching herself around the table and into his lap, wrapping her arms around him, the phone clenched tightly in her hand behind his back. “Thank you Bucky, thank you thank you!” She kissed his cheek and he grinned as she climbed back down.

“You’re welcome J, Happy Birthday.”

 

*****

 

Most of a pizza and two dozen frosted cupcakes later, Bucky stood on a step ladder in Jamie’s room, attaching her new solar system to the ceiling while she directed him on placement and rattled off facts about the planets. 

“Okay, I think that does it, how does it look?” Bucky climbed down from the ladder and sat with Jamie on the edge of her bed. 

“It’s perfect.” she beamed, pushing a lock of tangled brown hair behind her ear. “Can we look with the lights off?”

Bucky stood and crossed to the door to flip off the lights. The nightlight that Jamie pretended not to need came on in the darkness, but it wasn’t too bright to see the soft glow of the stars scattered across the ceiling, and the streaks of glowing paint on each planet. 

“Awesome.” she said quietly, and Bucky sat back on her bed, at the top where he could lean against the headboard. “I wish I could show my mom,” she added in a whisper and Bucky froze for a second before nudging her with his foot. 

“C’mere.” he said, reaching his arm out for her. Jamie crawled up to the head of the bed and sat next to Bucky, leaning into his side while he draped an arm around her to hold her close. “It’s hard without them here today, huh?”

She nodded, and even in the dim light he could see her lip wobbling and pulled her closer. 

“You know what someone told me recently?”

Jamie didn’t say anything but looked up at him, eyes wet with tears.

“We’re all made of star stuff. I think that means that your mom and dad...they’re in the stars, looking down on you, staying with you, all the time. It hurts that they can’t be here, but they’re still out there. They still love you, so much.” he murmured the last bit into her hair as he dropped a kiss to her head and rubbed his hand over her arm. 

“I just wish I could tell them that I do too.”

“Oh, Sunshine, they know. And...I’m not your mom and dad, but I love you too, you know that, right?”

She nodded, “yeah, you love me because of my dad.”

His heart broke just a little bit. “No Jamie, I just get to know you because of your dad, I love you because of you.”

Jamie buried her face in his chest and he stroked her back gently, still talking quietly into her hair, “You’re my family, J. I’m not going anywhere.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, Jamie getting her tears out into Bucky’s shirt with him just content to hold her through it. 

Eventually she settled and pulled away from him, turning damp eyes up to look back at the glowing stars in silence for a moment before she spoke up. “You know who else would like them?”

“Who?”

“Mr. Stark.”

Bucky smiled softly, “I think you’re right about that.”

“Are you and Mr. Stark boyfriends?”

His smile was replaced with a look of shock, and he was glad it was dark in the room, “Why would you think that?”

She tilted her head, “Because you guys went on a date.”

Bucky’s brow furrowed, “and how did you know that?”

“I’m eleven, I’m not stupid.”

He couldn’t help laughing at that, and his heart soared when Jamie giggled along with him, a pleasant contrast to her eyes, puffy and red from crying. 

A moment later, he squeezed her shoulder, “What would you think about that, if we were?”

Jamie grinned, “That would be the best.”


	11. Constellation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A constellation is a group of stars which form a pattern and have a name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay between chapters, I got a little busy! We're nearing the end now, only a few chapters to go!

Bucky pulled into an empty space in the Westview Elementary School parking lot and looked up at the building. Maybe he was being silly, but today he had an excuse. 

“Why are we parking?” Jamie asked curiously from the passenger seat, hand already on the door handle to let herself out.

“Thought I’d walk you in today, make sure you’re all prepared for your field trip.”

Jamie smirked as much as an eleven year old girl could, “And you wanna see Mr. Stark.”

He shrugged, his smile giving him away. It had been a while, sue him. Instead of responding to her insinuation he continued with the charade as they walked towards the building. “You have your phone? Your house key? The cash I left out? Your lunch?”

“Yes, yes, yes, and  _ yes _ , Bucky.” 

“Okay, just checking.” he held his hands up defensively like she couldn’t see right through him and Jamie laughed. 

They didn’t get far, as all of the 5th graders were crowded to one side of the lobby, the science teachers taking attendance as their students arrived. In Bucky’s defense, several other parents were escorting their children through the door, a few even stopped to chat with a teacher or two before leaving. 

“I see that Jamie Rogers is present and accounted for!” Jamie and Bucky both turned and smiled at the sound of that familiar, enthusiastic voice, Bucky taking a few steps in Tony’s direction and Jamie returning the high five that Tony offered her before running off to chat with her friends. 

“Tony.” Bucky greeted, “Nice fanny pack.” 

Tony was dressed, as he usually was, in slacks and a button-down, but today his outfit was adorned with a large black fanny pack strapped snuggly around his waist. He looked a little bit like a rich dad on vacation - Bucky didn’t know why he thought that was attractive, but it didn’t stop the flash of heat that went through him. 

“I’ll have you know, the fanny pack is coming back in style, thank you very much.”

Bucky chuckled, “If it wasn’t already, it certainly will now.”

He was awarded a bright smile for his compliment. 

“I am particularly glad to see you today, though unfortunately not for the reason you might think.”

Bucky tilted his head, confused. 

“Well, I am, actually glad to see you for the other reason as well, you know because I’m always glad to see you, even if it’s just in the pickup lane after school on Thursdays-”

“Tony?” Bucky cut him off, eyes alight with amusement at the rambling, “Why are you glad to see me today, in particular?” he asked, looping back around to Tony’s point.

“Ah, right…” he hesitated, “Feel free to say no. You don’t have to agree just because we’re...well...you know.”

Bucky’s eyebrow went up, “Okay…?”

“One of our chaperones backed out at the last minute, and there aren’t any teachers who can fill in the empty spot. We just need an extra parent to tag along.”

“Oh. Um...I don’t know that I’m exactly...class chaperone material.” he stalled, uncertainly. Today was supposed to be a writing day, he had interviews to transcribe and a deadline that was approaching, albeit distantly. 

“We can just stick our groups together for the day, that way I can chaperone you, chaperoning them.” Tony grinned, and well...that sounded like a win win situation if Bucky had ever heard one. 

The chance to not only procrastinate transcribing his interviews but spend a whole weekday with Tony? 

“Okay, yeah. Sign me up.” 

Tony beamed. “Perfect. I’ll move a few groups around so you’ll have Jamie and Ruthie in yours and at least you’ll know some of the kids.”

Bucky nodded, even though he knew Ruthie in name more than in person, it would be nice to be familiar with the kids he was supposed to be supervising. 

A few moments later, the whole grade was splitting up into their groups with their chaperones, and a double sized group crowded around Bucky and Tony. 

“Alright space explorers, this is Mr. Barnes, he and I will be your group leaders. The rules are simple, if you can’t see us, we can’t see you, and if we can’t see you, that’s a problem! Ask if you want to go somewhere, stick with your buddy, your buddy is your bus partner. Everyone got that?”

Little faces nodded up at them both, all inching closer to their “buddies” as though they’d get in trouble for not maintaining a certain proximity. 

“Okay, to the buses!” Tony called, pointing out the door where three yellow buses awaited them. 

Jamie stopped on the way out, smiling at Bucky, “You’re coming too?” 

He nodded, “They needed an extra chaperone, that cool?”

“Yep!” was all the answer he got before Jamie and Ruthie were skipping out the door, chattering excitedly. 

“Ready to go?” Tony rested a hand on Bucky’s shoulder and he nodded.

“Lead the way.”

Bucky followed Tony out to the bus where they settled in the seat behind the driver, across the aisle from two more chaperones. 

“I have to take roll again before we head out, be right back.”

With that, Tony disappeared down the aisle and Bucky slid his phone from his pocket to text Sam, only to find that one of the other chaperones had joined him in Tony’s vacant seat.  

“Hey.”

“Uh, Hi.”

“It’s Barnes, right? Bucky?”

Bucky nodded, “Yeah, and you?”

“James Rhodes, I’m the P.E. teacher. And the Track coach….and the Wrestling coach.”

“Oh, hey, nice to meet you.” He reached his right hand out to shake, and the teacher took it, shaking it quickly in the awkwardly small space. 

“Likewise. Anyway, I just wanted to say hello, and give you a little heads up.”

Interesting. “Oh?”

Rhodes grinned, looking a little too happy to be at work, or on a bus full of 10 and 11 year olds. “Me and Tony go way back, so I’ve heard a little bit about you. You sound like a decent guy, but I gotta say this, it’s a rule.”

Bucky was even more interested, “...okay?”

“I was Army for a spell too, so I can respect the brotherhood thing, but you can also respect the fact that if you hurt that man, they won’t find a body. Alright?”

Stunned silence, followed by a blush, and a soft smile. Tony had good friends. Another sign that he was, as Bucky suspected, a really good guy. “Duly noted.” 

Rhodes grinned, “Good answer. Enjoy the trip.” 

And then he was gone, chatting away with the final chaperone as though nothing had happened. 

“What did Rhodey have to say?” Tony slid back into the seat, pressing against Bucky’s side, perhaps further than strictly necessary, not that Bucky had any complaints.

“Just hello, and something about hiding a body.” Bucky grinned and Tony matched it.

“Good old Rhodey.”

 

*****

 

The drive to the planetarium was filled with idle chatter, and it was nice to have a conversation with Tony about the small stuff without getting into sticky pasts and melancholy thoughts. 

Too soon, it seemed, they were unloading a herd of children from the bus and shepherding them into the Planetarium where a tour guide was awaiting their arrival. The progress through the building was easy for the chaperones, as they had little to do but keep their eyes on their particular group of students and assure no one was breaking any rules. 

“Zachary, don’t climb on that.” Tony said for the third time that day, and Bucky muffled a laugh into his own shoulder. 

Tony looked over at him where they leaned against a side wall, “He’s very bright, I swear, just…very easily bored as well.”

Bucky shrugged, “I was like Zachary in school...just, a little less book smart, probably.”

Tony grinned, “Oh? A miscreant, were you? A jock, I bet. Football?”

That earned a laugh, “Not exactly.” he didn’t mention that he’d have tried out for the football team if he thought they’d accept him, but he’d known long before high school that there were certain crowds that were more amenable to differences. 

“So what was it, then? What did you do in school? Tell me you weren’t a back alley stoner.”

Another laugh, “Not that, either. Steve would have probably turned me in himself, the goody goody. No, if you  _ must _ know, I was in the drama club.”

“Huh.” Tony eyed him up and down, “I definitely would not have placed that.” 

Bucky rolled his eyes, “I was more of a behind the scenes kind of guy. Though I have more stage fright now than I had then.”

“You did so well at your reading though, I’d never have guessed.”

That was a warming sentiment. Bucky smiled and then bumped Tony with his shoulder. “What about you then, scholastic decathlon team?”

Tony scoffed, “Those nerds?” He shook his head, “No, no. I was in the  _ much _ cooler robotics club. And auto shop class.”

“Hmm, you’re right. That is much cooler.” He didn’t mention that he’d very much like to see Tony down and dirty under a car, because there were  _ children _ around for heaven’s sake, and that thought didn’t lead anywhere innocent. 

“Though I didn’t stay in either long, I graduated high school at sixteen.”

“Sixteen?! And you have the nerve to call other kids nerds!”

They both laughed, but Bucky was still curious. “So after that, college?”

“Yeah. Bachelor’s in engineering, master’s in teaching, doctorate in astrophysics.”

“Wait, what? You have a  _ doctorate  _ in  _ astrophysics _ and you’re teaching the 5th grade?” Bucky asked incredulously. 

“Ahhh, the doctorate was mostly for fun, I was already teaching when I got it. And I love this job, I’d never leave.” Tony shrugged, smiling modestly down at the floor. 

“I’m feeling a little insecure about my high school diploma now, am I batting out of my league?” his tone was teasing, but Bucky’s concern was sincere, if ill-advised. Bucky wasn’t an idiot, but Tony was a  _ genius _ , apparently. It didn’t really add up. 

“You make up for it in heart.” Tony was teasing too, but there was an honesty in his face that was raw enough to make Bucky look away. 

Thankfully, a hoard of girls from their chaperone group appeared in front of them, Jamie and Ruthie in the mix with a handful of faces Bucky didn’t recognize. One of them spoke up and Tony slipped his teacher face back on, “Can we go with Mrs. Cho to the bathroom? She said she’d take us.” 

Tony nodded, “Sure Heather, thanks for asking.”

The group turned to leave but Jamie lingered, drawing some attention from her friends, “Bucky are you and Tony coming to the 3D show with us?”

Tony’s brow furrowed minutely and Bucky’s mouth dropped open, “Jamie Elizabeth,” he said, quiet but stern, “that is _Mr. Stark_ to you, be respectful.” 

Her eyes widened as though she hadn’t realized what she said, but she nodded, “Sorry!”

Bucky sighed, “We’ll join you when you’re back from the restroom, alright?”

“Okay!” Jamie’s face was a little red, but she fell back into the group of girls and they all giggled as they headed towards the chaperone that Bucky assumed to be Mrs. Cho.

“Tony, I’m sorry, that was out of line...I don’t….I don’t even call you that at home.”

Tony just grinned, “You talk about me a lot at home?” 

Bucky groaned and bumped his shoulder again, a little rougher than before. “No. Never,” he lied.

They stood against their wall, keeping an eye on the kids as they explored, both hardly containing their smiles until Bucky made a connection in his head.

“Hold on, that was Heather?”

“Yeah.”

“The Heather that Jamie was fighting with?”

Tony shrugged despite a ghost of guilt on his face, “The very same.”

Bucky’s brow furrowed and he looked off towards where the girls had just disappeared, “And now they’re....running around giggling together?”

“Eh, it happens. The friendships at this age change every five minutes.” Tony waved it off, and Bucky assumed he knew what he was talking about. 

Maybe Heather and Jamie had worked it out. Maybe their young attention spans had moved past it. Bucky sure as hell didn’t know. 

“I don’t understand these pre-teen girls.” he said mournfully, once again dreading the thought of Jamie turning into a teenager. 

Tony laughed and elbowed him in the side, “Hey, you do just fine without having to understand them.”

It shouldn’t have meant much, but coming from Tony, it did. Bucky smiled. 

“So the other day Jamie said something funny…”

“Oh?”

“She uh,” Bucky flushed, wondering why he was bringing this up, “she asked if you and I were boyfriends.”

Tony’s face lit up a little at that, and he turned to face Bucky, taking in his pinked cheeks, “Keep blushing like that and we might just have to be.”

 

*****

 

The remainder of the field trip went without incident, they watched a 3D movie about the Milky Way, the kids played a few games organized by the venue, and they managed to make it on the bus and back to the school with everyone accounted for. 

It was long past the final bell at the elementary school, and the parking lot was vacant save for the parents there to pick up their children. Even the high school students were trickling out of their nearby building to their cars and buses as the 5th grade teachers unloaded their groups and said farewell. 

The kids dispersed with their parents quickly and before long, Bucky was preparing to seek out Jamie to go home, but she found him first, flanked by Ruthie, a teenage boy that Bucky didn’t know, and none other than MJ.

“Hey Mr. Barnes,” she greeted him with a smile, “Jamie told me it was planetarium field trip day so we came to see how it went.” 

“Ah, Miss Jones, Mr. Parker, nice to see you two around here.” Tony came from behind Bucky and offered a wave to the two, who Bucky assumed were his former students. 

“Bucky, MJ and Peter made a fancy telescope for their science fair, can we go see it?!”

Bucky looked to Tony, who shrugged, then between the two teens. 

“Hi Mr. Barnes, I’m Peter. Peter Parker. It’s uh- just over in the high school science lab, totally safe, we can absolutely keep an eye on them for a little while.” the kid seemed mildly nervous, though based on the way his eyes kept straying to her face, Bucky figured that was mostly to do with MJ. 

He eyed Peter skeptically, then looked to Jamie, “What did Ruthie’s parents say?” 

She grinned, “They said it was fine!”

He nodded, “Okay. Be careful.” The last bit was directed at the teens who nodded and turned to escort the two girls to the high school building. 

“Perfect, now you can help me take this stuff back to my classroom.” Bucky turned to see Tony grinning, two plastic crates with what was left of the water bottles they’d brought and a stack of clipboards. 

“Lucky me.” He said in what would have been a great forced monotone, had he not been smiling at the thought. 

They each grabbed a crate and made their way into the school and through to the 5th grade hall, and Tony’s classroom. Tony set his crate in the corner and Bucky followed suit. 

“Thank you for tagging along today, you really saved me.” Tony leaned against the front of his desk, and Bucky was thrown back to their first meeting for a moment. 

“It’s uh, no problem. At all, really. I enjoyed it. Much more fun than transcribing interviews all day.”

Tony wrinkled his nose, “Hmm. Yes, I’d imagine that a day with me is much better than that.”

Bucky laughed, only realizing after he’d already moved that he was suddenly very close to Tony. “It was a highly educational second date. Even if it was a little unorthodox.”

“I think I’d call this our third date.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, dinner with Jamie was definitely the first.”

“That wasn’t a  _ date. _ ” 

“It was, and I think you’ll find my argument for why  _ very _ compelling.”

“Okay, compel me.”

Tony leaned in close so he was whispering in Bucky’s ear, “I don’t kiss anyone in my classroom until  _ at least _ the third date.”

Bucky’s face flushed again and all he could manage was “Oh,” before Tony was pulling him closer and kissing him. 

It was sweet and slow like before, a press of lips, a soft sigh from Bucky, then Tony was pushing forward, the parting of lips, a gentle touch of tongue and Bucky was pushing right back. 

He cupped Tony’s neck, then slid his hand through lightly gelled strands of hair while Tony’s hands gripped at his waist, rucking his shirt up just slightly - and then all at once they both remembered where they were and Bucky took a step back. 

A glance back at the door reminded him that it was wide open for anyone to walk in and he was abashed, though he couldn’t help looking at Tony with an eyebrow raised, “To be continued?”

Tony grinned, a flush finally resting on his own face, “You better believe it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I'm stoked to finally share the awesome artwork that piperfog did for this fic based on my description of this chapter <3 <3 [Check it out here!](https://image.ibb.co/mnnv3A/image0.png) You can find him on Tumblr and Twitter as Piperfog!


	12. Aurora

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An aurora is a natural phenomenon which is characterised by a display of light.

Bucky was amazed at how easy it was to fall into a relationship with Tony. 

After years of struggling to open up to people and confront his issues, all the time it had taken him to heal and feel whole again, he’d been convinced that love wasn’t on the horizon for him, at least not in this way.

He’d found it with Jamie, a parental kind of love, then with Sam, a trusting and brotherly love...but until now the idea of romance, of intimacy, that had terrified him. He hadn’t expected it to be so simple. He really, really hadn’t expected to fall in love with Tony Stark. 

Bucky told Sam as much as they talked over coffee. 

“It looks good on you.” 

Sam’s reaction was not really what Bucky had expected and his eyebrows shot up.

This had become a tradition of theirs - on days that Bucky was struggling to focus on his writing, he’d abandon his desk at home for the little Java Hut down the street from the VA and Sam would pop in during breaks to socialize and keep both of them sane.

The environment lent itself to conversation that felt more like friends catching up than therapy - like when Bucky sought Sam out at work. It was an important boundary, but even here he expected Sam to play the devil’s advocate a little more. 

“I told you I think I’m falling in love with him and...that’s your response? No ‘Are you sure,’ or ‘it’s too soon,’ or...I don’t know...caution?”

Sam gave him a look. That classic Sam look that somehow made him feel like child without being condescending. “Do you think it’s too soon?”

“I….don’t know. I mean, I don’t  _ do _ this kind of thing. I can’t-”

“What? Have a relationship? Be happy? Bullshit.”

Bucky just looked at him for a moment. Sometimes he hated how often Sam was right.

“It’s just a lot.” he finally said, looking down at his hands, where mismatched fingers curled around his mug tightly. 

“You deserve a lot. And I would caution you if I thought it was a bad thing, but I don’t. Tony’s good for you, he makes you happy, Jamie adores him...and he didn’t even blink an eye when I threatened him, so he’s alright in my book.”

“You what?! When?” Bucky’s eyes went wide for a moment, aside from a Friday movie night or two and a few times in passing, Sam and Tony hadn’t spent a lot of time together, and certainly not without Bucky around. 

Sam grinned, “First day I met him, at your reading for that bookstore fundraiser.”

Bucky gaped, “We weren’t even….I...wasn't even dating him yet, I didn't even ask- not until that night.”

That earned him a laugh that Bucky would call evil if he didn’t know Sam to be such a damn good guy. “And you were transparent even then. I just didn’t want him wasting your time if he wasn’t good enough for you and Jamie.”

Even through his mild panic and annoyance that he was just finding out about this, Bucky got a warm feeling in his chest, feeling lucky to have a friend like Sam looking out for him. 

He rolled his eyes and shook his head, “I wish I could say I can’t believe you’d do that, but I do believe it. What did you even say to him?”

Sam shrugged, “Just let him know that I work with some pretty efficiently lethal people on a daily basis, is all.”

“God, Sam.” Bucky groaned, but he was laughing, thinking back to his brief first meeting with Tony’s 'Rhodey'. “You gotta meet Tony’s buddy Rhodes, I think you might just get on like a house on fire.”

Sam perked up a little at that, “Oh yeah? Tell me more.”

 

*****

 

The normal workday had long ended, and the coffee shop was almost cleared out by the time Bucky decided to call it quits, satisfied that he’d gotten a chunk of the narrative written for his upcoming deadline, even if he couldn’t stop tweaking it. 

He swung by Jamie’s favorite chinese restaurant for takeout on the way home, and made his way up to the apartment, carefully juggling his bag and their dinner as he unlocked the door.

“...of it looks pretty good but you need to check your work on number seven.” Tony’s eyes left the paper in front of him to look up and smile at Bucky, and Jamie perked up, looking between Bucky in the doorway with the food and Tony at the table checking her math homework.

“After dinner?” she asked hopefully, and Tony deferred the question to Bucky with a tilt of his head. 

“After dinner.” He affirmed, setting the chinese on the kitchen counter and depositing his phone in the bowl by the door, where Tony’s and Jamie’s already sat. 

“You heard the man,” Tony agreed, tucking her paper into a folder and moving it off the table, “but first,” he looked up at Jamie, stopping her short on her way to get silverware, “clean hands?”

It was a little thing, but Bucky’s heart fluttered at the scene even as Jamie trudged off to the hallway bathroom to wash her hands. Maybe Sam was right and he really could have this. 

He took the moment that Jamie was gone to properly greet Tony by the table with a chaste kiss and a squeeze of his hip, “Thanks for bringing her home.” 

“My pleasure,” Tony answered easily, pushing a stray lock of hair behind Bucky’s ear as he revelled in the knowledge that Tony really  _ meant _ that. “Get any writing done?”

Bucky nodded, moving back towards the kitchen sink to wash his own hands, “I might still be cutting it close on my deadline, but the anxiety level is maybe half of what it was.”

Tony nodded, stepping up to the sink to follow suit with the hand washing, “You’ll get it done, it’ll all work out.” 

“Is there going to be another big party?” Jamie had reappeared and was gathering forks and serving spoons from a drawer to set the table while Bucky filled glasses with water and Tony pulled down a stack of plates from the cabinet. It had all become so normal for them now, and Bucky really couldn’t say when that had happened, but he wasn’t about to complain. 

“Maybe. You’ll have to ask Nat next time we see her.” Buck answered, sure there would be some type of release party for his newest novel, and happy to see Jamie interested in such a thing. 

“Saturday, maybe?” Tony chimed in as they settled around the table and were dishing out food, “Since we’re going into the city to the science museum, and I promised J she could visit SI, we could swing by your agency, too. Make a day of it.”

Bucky nodded, smiling thoughtfully, “Yeah, that’s a good idea. I’ll text Nat about it later.”

“Are there really robots at Stark Industries?” Jamie asked through a mouthful of food. 

Bucky snorted, “Chew and swallow, please.” he chided halfheartedly. 

Tony just grinned, “Oh yeah, lots.” he launched into an explanation of the latest news he’d heard from the company as Jamie listened attentively and Bucky watched them both with a fond smile.

 

*****

 

Hours later, after Jamie was tucked into bed, Bucky and Tony lounged on the sofa, legs tangled together and Tony half laying on Bucky’s chest. 

Bucky ran his metal fingers through Tony’s hair, watching as he blinked like a sleepy kitten desperately trying to stay awake. 

“You’re going to make me fall asleep right here.” he murmured, and it sounded like a protest, even as Tony cuddled in closer. 

“That wouldn’t be so bad, would it?” Bucky teased, scratching lightly at Tony’s scalp and drawing a soft groan.

The noise stirred something in Bucky, but he too was a little too tired to act on it. Despite some talk and an opportunity or two, they hadn’t taken the sex step yet, both content to build to it slowly. There was something about just laying together like this that felt like the height of physical intimacy without anything sexual at all, and Bucky was content to savor it. 

Which made it all the more sad when Tony finally breathed out a quiet, “I should go home.” 

Bucky let out a petulant whine, tightening his arm around Tony’s waist and answering back without thinking, “Why don’t you stay?”

That seemed to rouse Tony a little bit, and he propped up his head to look at Bucky. “It’s a school night. Jamie’s home. That’s...that’s a big step, for a single parent.”

He seemed uncertain, a little afraid of the question, like he was worried it was a trick. Tony’d spent the night with Bucky before, on weekends, when Jamie was at Ruthie’s (or inexplicably, _Heather’s_ ) house. He even had a clean shirt hanging in Bucky’s closet, but there was a firm unspoken boundary when it came to them sharing a bed while Jamie was home, even if she understood the nature of their relationship perfectly. (She was eleven, not stupid, after all.)

Bucky sighed, nodding. “I know. And I know that I’m the one that wanted to be cautious in the first place but...that was when I didn’t know if this could be anything.”

Tony sat up, pulling Bucky along so they could face each other. He had a careful smile on his face, tentative like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. “And now?”

Pale blue eyes rested on their intertwined hands as Bucky took a moment to think, finally finding the answer to the question he’d been mulling over in his mind all day. It couldn’t be too soon if it felt this right, right? 

“I think we’re long past being just ‘anything,’ don’t you?” Bucky asked softly, meeting warm brown eyes as the shadow of worry dropped from Tony’s face. 

“And well on the way to something big, I’d say.” he agreed, and Bucky’s stomach fluttered. He wondered if that four letter word was bouncing around in Tony’s brain too. 

“Stay? Come to bed with me?” Bucky asked again, more serious this time, but more vulnerable too. 

“You just don’t want to drive Jamie to school in the morning.” Tony accused, before leaning forward to press a kiss to Bucky’s mouth, pouring his  _ ‘yes, i’ll stay’ _ into a soft sigh and a brush of lips. 

Bucky grinned against him. “You got me.” he teased, then promptly dragged Tony to bed. 


	13. Supernova

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Supernova, meaning a star that has exploded, strongly increasing its brightness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I am so sorry for falling off the face of the earth, have some schmoop to make up for it <3

“I can’t believe you talked me into this.” 

The sidewalk outside of a  _ nightclub _ was the last place Bucky had expected to find himself this evening, but maybe considering present company, he should have been ready for surprises. 

Sam and Rhodes had hit it off as well as Bucky had predicted, so it was becoming a regular occurrence that the two of them would tag along when Tony and Bucky made plans. Tonight, they’d had a nice dinner at a quiet sports bar that Rhodes had suggested, and his three companions had even kept their word to not make a fuss over it being Bucky’s birthday. 

Until they’d collectively decided that the occasion called for ‘something different,’ which apparently meant drinks and loud music and, god forbid, dancing.

Tony tossed an arm over his shoulder and barked a laugh, “Give it a chance, babe, it’ll be fun.”

Bucky eyed him skeptically, but even he couldn’t keep back a laugh as Sam mimicked Tony’s actions on Rhodes and fluttered his eyelashes dramatically, “That’s right  _ babe _ , you get to be insufferable in front of all of these strangers instead of just us!”

Rhodes grinned, pointedly removing Sam’s arm from his shoulders and turning to face the group. “For once, Tony’s right. It’s loud but the crowd is mostly older, lots of vets, even.”

“Right.” Bucky said dubiously. 

There was a time when he’d have jumped at the chance to hit a bar or five with the boys, drink until he couldn’t see straight and sleep through the spins the morning after to do it again. 

That was a different time. That was weekends visiting Steve in college, when Peggy was just ‘this girl in my history class’ and Jamie wasn’t even a thought. It was days off base with men from his first platoon, chasing skirts (or pretending to) and drinking each other under the table. 

It was a decade and two tragedies ago. 

He could remember it being fun, but Bucky had changed. 

Tony’s arm fell from over his shoulders to his waist and he squeezed, speaking in a soft voice that was just for Bucky, “If you don’t like it we’ll leave. You don’t even have to go in. It’s your day.”

Bucky sighed. “Alright let’s go.”

They cheered and made their way past the bouncer into the building, Tony’s arm not leaving Bucky’s waist all the while. 

The lights were low and the music was loud, but it wasn’t too crowded and it seemed pretty devoid of teens and twenty-somethings, so Bucky resolved to give it a chance, allowing himself to be led towards a booth as Sam and Rhodes headed off towards the bar.

Bucky slid into the far seat and Tony followed after him and pressed in close to his side, leaving the other bench empty for their friends. 

“Seems like they’re really getting along,” he said with amusement, eyes trained on where Rhodes had an arm slung over Sam’s shoulders this time, and the two were chatting and smiling at each other in a way that made Bucky and Tony seem downright platonic.

“Oh no,” Tony followed his gaze and laughed softly, “what have we done?”

“Something we’ll likely come to regret, I’d say.” He rested his chin on Tony’s shoulder to watch their friends interact, snorting when the pair turned towards the table and had the decency to blush and separate in the face of Bucky and Tony’s appraising looks. 

“We come bearing drinks.” Sam announced before anyone had a chance to get another word in. He set down four beers, as Rhodes deposited four shot glasses of amber liquid in the center of the table.

“I was going to order a round of birthday blowjobs, but Sam said Buck here wouldn’t go for it.” Rhodes explained, sounding a little too put-upon as he slid into the booth next to Sam. 

Bucky flushed and Tony snickered as they simultaneously muttered “good call” and “would’ve been hot” respectively. 

Tony avoided Bucky’s scandalized look by plucking one of the shot glasses from the center of the table and giving it a sniff, “Tequila is good too. To Bucky, then?” He raised his glass and shot Bucky a wink. 

Bucky, to his credit, didn’t even complain, just shook his head in exasperation and grabbed a shot glass along with the rest of them, nodding modestly at their toasts of “To Bucky” and “Happy Birthday.” 

 

*****

 

Another shot and a couple of beers later, Bucky was feeling much more relaxed. It had been a while since he’d had very much to drink, so he was pleasantly tipsy and content to sway slightly with the music, basking in the feel of Tony’s warm hand high on his thigh. 

Drinks largely followed the same pattern as dinner, Tony and Rhodes telling silly stories about kids at work, the three vets reminiscing on their army days, and Rhodes and Sam continually trying to one-up each other with embarrassing stories of their respective best friends. (“I did not wake up  _ entirely _ naked in that fountain, I had socks on, Rhodey!”)

All things considered, it was a great birthday, and Bucky found himself only remembering back to his last one with Peggy and Steve in a fond way, even if he missed them a little deeper than usual today. 

Eventually, their chatter waned, and Sam and Rhodes excused themselves to the dance floor, flipping a bird back at Tony’s teasing as they went. 

“What do you think, dancing? Or would you rather get out of here?” Tony squeezed his thigh lightly when Bucky took a moment to answer, still gazing in amusement after their friends. 

“What? Oh, let’s uh, let’s get out of here, I could use some air.” 

Tony nodded, seeming happy to oblige as he slipped out of the booth and saluted Rhodes before tugging Bucky towards the exit, both of them pointedly ignoring the cat calls that followed them out the door. 

“I’m kinda looking forward to being the one that grills Sam about this later. The relationship talk has been a little too one-sided lately.” Bucky muttered as they wandered down the sidewalk and he tilted his face up to catch the cool air. 

Tony laughed, “Rhodey will deny, deny, deny. We should compare gossip notes later to see if playing matchmaker is a good idea.” 

“Agreed. Later though. Much Later.” Bucky caught Tony’s hand and pulled him to a stop, tugging him close to kiss him there in the middle of the sidewalk. 

Tony gave no protest, and kissed him back, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s narrow waist, pushing up on his toes to deepen the kiss, only stopping when his phone went off in his pocket. “Ugh, our ride is here.” he grumbled, lips still brushing against Bucky’s. 

They stood for a moment, sharing tipsy little smiles before breaking apart to locate the black sedan that had pulled up to the curb nearby. 

“Where are we going?” Bucky asked, realizing they hadn’t decided on a destination. 

“My place.” Tony answered easily, putting a hand over Bucky’s as he went to reach for his phone, “Jamie is fine. Fell asleep hours ago.”

Bucky shot him a confused look and Tony just grinned. 

“I was MJ’s favorite teacher, called in a favor to get updates. She’s prepared to crash on the couch,” Tony faltered for just a moment, “uh, if you want.”

A short but heated kiss and an urgent tug towards the car was answer enough.

 

*****

 

So far, their sleepovers had been limited to Bucky’s place, primarily because that was where they spent most of their time. Bucky had, in fact, only been over to Tony’s apartment a couple of times, and this time is was just as impressive as the last two. 

A direct contrast to Bucky’s thrift store threadbare home decor, Tony’s home was carefully curated with luxurious carpet, plush sofas and chairs, polished wooden tables and bookshelves adorned with color coordinating nick-nacks and hard-bound books. 

He’d learned the first time he’d been here that very little of the apartment’s contents were picked out by Tony, but rather his ex-girlfriend and CEO of his company, Pepper. Bucky hadn’t met her yet, but Tony had a way of speaking of her that was fond without posing a threat to their blossoming relationship - so she must be something special. 

The real Tony peeked through in the bedrooms. The spare was a makeshift workspace where he tinkered with all sorts of things, often making suggestions and corrections to plans from the SI R&D department, and taking things apart just to sate his own curiosity. The master was just as purposefully decorated as the rest of apartment, but the desk was littered with papers to be graded and lesson plans in progress, and the nightstand had a stack of nonfiction books and academic journals on space exploration and the like. 

Tony slipped out of his shoes at the door and padded straight to his bedroom, leaving Bucky to follow suit, finding Tony at the desk where he draped his jacket over the back of the chair and turned to Bucky, pushing worn black leather off his shoulders and running hands over his chest. 

Bucky let his jacket fall to the floor and stepped towards Tony, bringing them chest to chest as he leaned down to kiss him with just a hint of the fire from outside of the bar. Tony sighed softly into his mouth, curling his fingers into the fabric of Bucky’s shirt to pull him even closer until Bucky had him pinned against the desk. 

Tony kissed down from Bucky’s lips to the cleft of his chin, trailing lips over his jaw and down his neck, scraping his teeth lightly over collar bone, where it peeked from under Bucky’s shirt. At the catch of Bucky’s breath he stopped, resting his forehead against a warm shoulder and lightly pushing a confused Bucky back.

Bucky’s hands fell and a worried look crossed his face, “Sorry, was that-?”

“ _ That _ was going somewhere amazing, definitely. But I have something for you, before we get....distracted.” 

Worry faded to a bemused smile as Tony slipped out from between Bucky and the desk, grabbing a folder as he went, and crossed to the opposite side of the room to open a sliding glass door to a large balcony. 

Bucky followed, eyebrows raised as he took in the space, cool air from outside was balanced by the fireplace that Tony turned on with the press of a button, and the light illuminated a small table, a set of chaise lounges, and a large telescope set up by the railing.

Tony went to the telescope and peered into the eyepiece, turning a knob and making a few quick adjustments before he stepped back and gestured for Bucky to look. 

Peering through the eyepiece, Bucky could see two stars, a big one in the center of the field, and a smaller off to one side. “What am I looking at here?” he asked, still a little confused. 

“Uh. Bucky Barnes.” Tony said, and Bucky looked back at him with eyebrows raised, seeing the way he nervously bit his lip before continuing. “You said you didn’t want anything for your birthday and I wasn’t going to  _ not _ get you something, so I asked Sam and he said you really didn’t like  _ stuff _ which, I get that about you, but this isn’t stuff. Well. It’s kinda stuff. Star stuff.”

Bucky’s smile grew as Tony rambled and he crossed over to him, beaming by the time Tony was done. “You got me a star?”

“Well. Two stars.” He handed over the folder and Bucky opened it to see a set of certificates, one proclaiming the larger star ‘Bucky Barnes’ and the smaller simply ‘J’. “It’s not exactly  _ official _ , IAU doesn’t recognize it or anything but we can still look up at see those stars and it counts for us and I thought it would be-”

“Romantic.” 

Tony stopped and looked up with a cautious smile, “Romantic?”

Bucky laughed, pulling him closer to kiss him quickly, “Super romantic. I love it.”

“Good.” Tony rested his head on Bucky’s shoulder and looked up at the sky in the direction of their stars. “Happy Birthday, Bucky.”

“It is, thanks to you.”

Tony pressed a kiss to the skin of his neck in answer, and Bucky’s arm tightened around his waist. 

“I really mean it,” he continued after a moment, “I never thought...Steve was my family after I lost mine. And losing Steve...it was worse than the first time. I didn’t think I could find a new family again, but this feels…”

“Like having a family again.” Tony looked up and his eyes were shining even as he nodded, “I thought I was going to feel alone forever, you know?” a shaky sigh, “And now I don’t. Not since the day I met you.” 

At that, Bucky’s eyes were damp too, and he pressed a kiss to Tony’s temple. “I don’t want you to ever feel alone. I love you, Tony.”

And there it was, after all of the days those words spent rattling around in his head, they were out there, and Bucky wasn’t anxious about them at all, because he didn’t even need to hear it to know…

“I love you too.” 

Tony loved him too. The words were just a confirmation of what was said with every touch of their hands, and text good morning, every time Tony thought to put Jamie first, every time Bucky followed Tony blindly. It was all love. 

But it was still nice to hear. 

Tony’s eyes darkened and he spoke again, quieter, “Let me show you?”

The intensity of those words shot through Bucky like a wave of fire, and he could barely nod before he was being pulled back into the bedroom, the glass door sliding shut behind them.


	14. Abyss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an abyss is a deep, immeasurable space; anything profound, unfathomable, or infinite.

Bucky scrubbed his flesh hand over his face, willing himself to feel a little more awake. 

He was so unbelievably behind on his deadline, with nobody to blame but himself. Since his birthday, he and Tony had been nearly inseparable, and his days at the coffee shop had been spent very much daydreaming about Tony like a teenage girl. Well, when he wasn’t busy gossiping with Sam….like a teenage girl. 

Today, he’d vowed to get caught up, and the day was already not going well. Jamie had been in a bit of a mood from the moment she got up this morning, and he didn’t think it was just because she was riding the bus for the first time. 

It was something they’d talked about before, and Jamie had mentioned that she already knew the kids that rode the bus around here, so as bad as he felt about it, he’d packed her lunch and sent her on her way. The bus stop was just downstairs, and it gave him an extra hour to chug a few cups of coffee and get typing on the back third of his novel. 

Once he managed to get his momentum going, Bucky lost himself, typing madly into his document and resolving to go back and edit later, knowing that getting words on paper was half the battle.

He didn’t even realize that more than an hour had passed until his phone buzzed. A glance at the screen told him it was Tony, but determined to be more disciplined, Bucky ignored it and went back to typing. It was probably a customary good morning or good luck text, anyway. 

The words were flowing again, half a page more written by the time his phone buzzed a second time. Tony again.  _ You can talk to him later _ , he assured himself, returning to his document and only managing another sentence this time before the phone started ringing, Tony, and a call this time. 

Mildly alarmed, Bucky hit answer and speakerphone, continuing to type as he called out “Hey, sorry I’m in the zone.” 

Tony gave a short huff of a laugh, “I won’t keep you, just wanted to check and see what’s up with Jamie.” he sounded concerned. 

Bucky groaned, “I don’t know, she’s been grumpy since the moment she woke up, would barely talk to me this morning and all I can think is that she’s upset about riding the bus today.” 

He expected some sort of commiseration from Tony, or an assurance that he’d try to figure out what was really going on. 

Instead he got “Bucky,” in a panicked tone that finally made him stop typing and pick up the phone. 

“What? What’s wrong?”

“Jamie isn’t here. She didn’t show up to school this morning.”

Bucky froze, nearly dropping the phone as raw panic twisted his stomach into a knot, “What?! Tony, that is not a funny joke.” he breathed, tone bordering on dangerous. 

“Babe, I’m not joking.” Because no, Tony wouldn’t joke about something like that. 

“Oh my God, Tony. Oh my God, I gotta call her, I’ll call you back, okay?” Bucky didn’t wait for an answer before he ended the call and tapped Jamie’s name in his favorites with shaky hands. He listened for her to answer, for one ring, then two, and then he heard it - the buzz of a vibrating phone - and shot out of his makeshift office into Jamie’s room, where her phone was laying forgotten on her bedside table. 

“Shit.” he murmured, ending the call and immediately redialing Tony, who answered on the first ring. 

“Find her?” he asked quickly, and Bucky was shaking his head, beginning to pace the hallway of his apartment in a panic.

“No, she left her phone here. It’s  _ here  _ in her room so she doesn’t even have it if she needs to call me. She’s gotta be lost or oh God, what if-”

“Hey, Hey!” Tony cut him off and Bucky clutched at the phone tightly, trying to keep a panic attack at bay. “Jamie is going to be alight. And I love you, but you need to keep it together, okay? Do that for her. I’m on my way. You’re going to call Ruthie’s parents to make sure they haven’t seen her, and you’re going to go check the bus stop. I’ll pick you up outside and we will go find her, okay?”

Bucky took a few deep, steadying breaths, clinging to the forced calm in Tony’s voice. “Yeah. Yeah, okay. I’m calling them, I’ll see you soon.”

“Bucky,” Tony said softly, and Bucky stopped where he was already slipping boots on to his feet. 

“Yeah?” he said weakly, his voice nearly cracking on the word. 

“She’s going to be okay, and this isn’t your fault.”

It was Tony’s unique talent to be able to offer the two phrases Bucky needed to hear just then.  Even if he couldn’t agree with them himself, they helped a little, “Okay.”

He hung up with Tony and finished putting his shoes on, grabbing a jacket to put on over his jeans and tshirt before heading out the door. His flesh fingers were trembling, but he managed to locate the contact in his phone for Ruthie’s mom, cradling the phone against his ear as it rang and he took the stairs down to the front lobby two at a time. 

A quick conversation with Ruthie’s mom gained him no new information, and by the time he was finished talking to her, he’d checked the bus stop and found no sign of Jamie at all, which was less than reassuring, if he was totally honest.

Bucky lingered at the bus stop to wait for Tony, pacing the small patch of sidewalk in front of it and going to dial his phone again to call - the school? The police? He didn’t even know where to start in this situation - but his phone was ringing before he could decide who to call, Sam’s name and a ridiculous picture displayed on the screen. 

“Sam?” He answered, his voice unsteady.

And as though Sam already knew that Bucky would be panicking, he answered with exactly what Bucky needed to hear, “I’ve got Jamie.”

“Oh thank God.” He sobbed, falling back to sit on the bus stop bench, just seconds before Tony pulled up in his black sedan. 

Bucky stood shakily from the bench, moving to get in the passenger seat even as he asked “Where are you?”

Tony reached out a hand to squeeze his knee, looking hopefully over at him. Bucky gave him a quick nod and relief flooded his features while Bucky finished his conversation with Sam and hung up the phone.

“Tony I am the worst person on the planet,” he said mournfully, burying his face in his hands. 

“You’re not, Buck. Not by a longshot. Where’s Jamie?” Tony asked gently.

“She’s at the cemetery. She lost them a year ago today, and I  _ didn’t remember _ .” his voice did break then, a couple of tears running down his face, and Tony just squeezed his knee and drove off in the direction of the cemetery. 

 

*****

 

Steve and Peggy’s joint headstone was, thankfully, only a block away from the VA, and Sam had caught sight of Jamie walking in on his way to work. 

When Bucky and Tony arrived, Sam was standing at a distance, while Jamie sat on the ground in front of the marble stone, picking at the grass as she talked to her parents. 

Bucky greeted Sam with a hug, and murmured his thanks into his ear. Sam just nodded, hugging him back and clapping Tony on the shoulder before retreating. 

After a moment, Bucky started towards Jamie, noticing a few steps in, that Tony was hanging back. He turned and held out a hand, relieved when Tony took it and twined their fingers together, following Bucky over to where Jamie sat. 

“Hey, Sunshine.” Bucky sat down next to her, Tony following his lead by settling at her other side, each of them resting a hand on her back. “You scared me.”

Jamie looked up at him, her face sad, but devoid of tears. “Sorry. I just...wanted to talk to them.” she said quietly, looking back at the headstone. 

Bucky gazed at it too, feeling a pang of sorrow as he read their names, Steven and Margaret Rogers, the inscription below declaring them loving parents and friends. “I didn’t know you wanted to come here, but you always can, J. Just ask next time, okay? I’ll come with you.” 

“Can we bring flowers?” 

Bucky sniffled and laughed softly at that. “Yeah, we can bring flowers. I bet they’d like that.”

He tugged her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her, Tony scooting closer to run his hand over Bucky’s back. 

They sat in silence for a few moments, huddled together in the grass until Bucky tucked a stray lock of hair behind Jamie’s ear and kissed her on the temple, “You still need to talk to them? We can wait in the car if you want.” 

Jamie shook her head, “No, I told them.” 

“Told them what?”

“Everything. About my solar system, and Ruthie getting braces, and I think that Peter wants to be MJ’s boyfriend. And I told them that Heather said I was an orphan now, and how I decided that’s not true.”

“Oh?” Bucky asked quietly, willing back the tears that threatened to return at that. 

“Yeah, because I have you, and Tony. And my parents aren’t gone, anyway. They’re just in the stars.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short epilogue after this, folks. Thanks to those of you who've stuck with this the whole way as I've posted in the most unpredictable intervals. I adore you for the kudos and the comments, it's been a rough little patch for me and all of you are bright spots in my days, so thank you for all the light <3 <3


	15. Epilogue

Bucky and Tony were floating on air. 

Music swelled around them, the stars shining overhead, and they swayed against one another, paying no mind to the small crowd that watched them dance. 

They had eyes only for each other. 

Bucky’s fingers played absently with the short hairs on at the nape of Tony’s neck and he rested their foreheads together, “say it again.”

Tony smiled, hands gripping tighter to the back of Bucky’s dress blues, “My husband.” 

The words were just as thrilling as the first time, and Bucky beamed, leaning forward to kiss him softly, only just aware of the happy laughter and soft clapping as the song came to an end, their first dance as a married couple over. 

It didn’t part them, though, and they stood looking at each other for another moment, until Jamie found her way between them, a big smile on her face. 

She was a vision in pale blue, twelve now, and growing up far too fast. Her long brown hair was braided in intricate patterns and littered with white hydrangea petals. 

“There’s our beautiful groomsmaid, are you having fun?” Tony easily parted from Bucky and offered Jamie a hand so the three of them could dance along with the upbeat song that started up next. 

“Yeah! Aunt Becca went to get more tissues because she can’t stop crying, and Pepper said to make sure you two eat something tonight, and” she paused giggling, “I saw Sam and Rhodey kissing.” 

“Called it.” Tony said simply, grinning up at Bucky and offering him a wink. Their friends had been adamantly denying that anything was going on between them for months now, but if something was going to trip them up, it was definitely a night like tonight. 

“Can I cut in?” They all looked around to see Peter Parker, holding a hand out to Jamie, MJ sitting back at a table watching him with what could only be called heart eyes. 

Bucky clapped him on the shoulder and nodded, “Of course, we should go mingle.” he said, tugging on Tony’s hand as they left Jamie in Peter’s respectful hands. 

“Here’s hoping for a kid like Parker when Jamie gets to dating age.” Tony mused, looking back to where Jamie and Peter were dancing, Jamie talking his ear off all the while. 

Bucky blanched, “It’s too soon to talk about that, she’s not allowed to date until she’s twenty.”

“Hmm, I don’t think you’re going to get that much of a say.” Tony teased, and Bucky opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by Pepper, who wrapped Tony up in a hug, then Bucky for good measure. 

“That was a beautiful ceremony, you two. Congratulations.” 

Tony smiled fondly, “Thanks Pep.”

“Yes, Thank you, and for doing all of this.” Bucky gestured at the park. It was perfect, from the softly glowing dance floor under the stars, to the pale blue and white paper lanterns in all the trees, the sprawling tent lit with twinkle lights and the handful of ornately decorated tables where all of their friends laughed and mingled over food from the large buffet. 

In the short time that he’d known her, Bucky had discovered that Pepper was just as special as Tony made her seem, particularly in that she’d taken it upon herself to plan out the details of their wedding and managed to do so with such success. 

“It’s my pleasure. Now enjoy your night. And eat! Please eat!” 

They laughed and nodded, linking their arms together as they headed to do just that. 

As they walked they stopped to chat with their assorted guests, Bucky’s friends from the VA and Tony’s colleagues and pals from college, each and every one greeting them with congratulations and well wishes. 

Bucky was ambushed by a tearful Becca, and he could only smile and wipe her tears, thanking her for being here, and meaning it a little more sincerely than he might have with the rest. They were just starting on the road to repairing their relationship, but it meant the world to Bucky for his little sister to be a part of this - and Jamie loved her already. 

They neared their table, and Bucky took in the place in awe, from the food, to the towering cake, to the guest book with a bin of bird seed for their departure and one more display that he hadn’t noticed before. 

Bucky nudged Tony and directed him towards a table off to one side, finally getting tears in his eyes as he realized what it was. 

Four candles flickered across the front of the table, where there sat a small wooden sign, painted with flowing letters:  _ ‘Those who are with us in the stars.’ _

Amidst a bed of flower petals, two framed pictures sat proudly on the table, Steve and Peggy in one, Howard and Maria in the other. 

“I wish they could be here. All of them.” Bucky murmured, tucking himself into Tony’s side. 

“They are.” was his simple answer. 

And they both turned their eyes to the sky. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all, folks. Thanks for reading <3


End file.
